Scribblings of a Madman

State of the SoaM

2010-10-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been doing this blog for a long, long time. It's the longest running thing I've ever done. Tomorrow is the four year anniversary of this thing. I started it when I was a Senior in high school, and here I am, a senior in college. I'm married, I'm just about to become a teacher, and I am no longer a teenager.

Because of my change in life status--marriage, college senior, future teacher--running this blog is becoming more and more difficult. I have put a lot of thought into this, and I feel like this is the right move. As of today, I am retiring Scribblings of a Madman. It's been a long and good run, and I feel this is the right moment.

Don't take this to mean I am giving up on writing. Far, far from it. I have stories currently out and under consideration at lots of places. However, I feel like I've just been limping this thing along for a while, and I'd much rather spend what little spare time I have working on my craft than plunking out an entry here. It's been a ton of fun, very therapeutic, and I've met a lot of really cool people. But since this has become more of a chore and an obligation, I feel the time is now, let's end this puppy on a high, as it were.

I want to thank you all for reading this for so many years. For caring about what a silly, lonely, high school senior had to say. Thank you for the support in my writing, and I wish you all the best luck in the world.

(I reserve the right to pick this back up at any moment without warning. I am King here at SoaM. I have the right. Nya nya. :P But I don't see that happening right now.)

Good luck with everything you do. I wish you only the best.

Thank you, and goodnight,

Jason Rayburn

Therapeutic Ramblings.

2010-09-03T11:10:00.003-05:00

So, things have been going very well for me. I finished a short story and I've mailed it off--regardless of whether it's accepted, that is something that I very rarely do and I'm proud that I've accomplished my goal. I have another story I need to edit, but I've got the itch to be creative, so I'm trying to write another short story first. I've got an idea, but it's a bit difficult to pull off so far. I had a bit of luck yesterday--if I didn't break through my writer's block, I at least shoved it a few yards away from me.

Besides writing, though, things have been going very well for me. Last semester was an exercise in torture, depression, endurance, and...just...bad things. I was still recovering from car accident, I probably should have taken a semester off, but I didn't want to fall behind--I wanted to make sure I could graduate on time so that I could take care of Darling Dearest. Because of my decision, I was basically taking two semesters at once. I took all 3 of my major education classes in the same go, so I was loaded down with a full schedule, PLUS make up work from the previous semester, PLUS another extra 20 hours of teacher observations due by the end of the semester. It was...hard, to say the least.

After all of that work, I still only failed one class. I have never failed a class. This was a devastating blow to me.

This semester, however, I am doing much better. I'm re-taking the class I failed, and with my other classes, I owed 1 more extra credit hour. I worried about that one hour--I was afraid I'd have to stay an extra semester and graduate late and become what they jokingly call a "super senior" (a senior who has stayed an extra semester or year--which apparently happens A LOT here). It was nothing to worry about, though. I checked with my adviser, and I am now working on our university's literary journal. WHOO! This is fantastic because 1) it's work I really love, and 2) it's exactly 1 hour--just what I need.

Financially, despite a rough summer where I worked at a fast food restaurant, burned my hand, burned my eye lid, and had to buy expensive new shoes that worked no better than the ones I had, we are now much better off. I lost my scholarship (because of the 1 failed class...ever...) but I got enough other financial aid to not only take care of my debts, but also give me much much money in a refund.

With all of that said, I'm still worried. Things have been going to so well, but I still have to take a few tests that will qualify me to get my license to teach. This worries me because the one that's vital for my internship next semester is my content knowledge. If it were English--writing and grammar, I wouldn't be too worried, but it also includes literature. Since the English literary world is thousands of years old, I'm starting to panic. I've already read Catcher in the Rye, so now I'm going through and reading/rereading classics that I don't feel I read well enough for my exams. Jane Austen, I'm about to get to know you very well. Mark Twain, we're gonna become chums. F. Scott Fitzgerald, you and I will boogie our way through the Jazz Age, and I better get my hands on some William Faulkner, Ernest Hemingway, and John Steinbeck soon, too, I guess. I'm also gonna read Dracula, possibly the Invisible Man, and Lord of the Flies. So...much...reading.

Of course, this is my panic state. Probably an over-reaction, but I feel so vitally unprepared for what I'm about to undertake. I'll probably calm down in a few days/weeks, but then I have another heap of problems and that's where I'll be living when I become a teacher. Originally, the plan was to stay here where my wife could continue her education, but we're thinking of transferring to a slightly bigger town/metropolis area where one of my best friends lives. I'd LOVE to move there, but I'm nervous I won't get hired, and where I get hired dictates where I'll live, and where I live has to be decided before school restarts in the fall and AND AND--

*sigh* Deep breath, dude. We can do this.

Right...so...that's where I stand right now. This is mostly just therapeutic ramblings on my part. I'm sure (read, I hope) I'll figure everything out and everything will turn out okay.

Okay...I better sign off before I make this any longer. Cheerio!

Something I forgot to mention...

2010-08-16T15:26:00.004-05:00

When I posted that about Scott Pilgrim yesterday, I meant it. It is a phenomenal movie, especially to my generation. I hope it goes down as one of my generations classics, like The Breakfast Club in the 80's and Clueless in the 90's. Scott Pilgrim, of the 2010's, is absolutely awesome. Stylized? Oh yeah. But it was a nerd's paradise of a movie.

However...I may have OVER praised it just a little when I said it and Inception were my two favorite movies of the year.
It's funny. It's amazing. But...Inception has one contender for favorite movie of the year for me...

TOY STORY 3

In 1995, history was made when the first CGI animated movie was introduced into the world--also the first movie in a, what is now famous, animation company. I'm, of course, talking about Toy Story and Pixar respectively.

I had to put into perspective how old Toy Story is. See, the thing is, it doesn't seem that old to me. However, think about this: I am a Senior in college. When Toy Story came out, I remember being in the second grade and reading my class the Toy Story children's book. SECOND GRADE! I saw 7. Now I'm 21.

Of course, when I saw the trailer, I couldn't help but feel a sort of chest-tightening fear. A sequel? Oh great. Spider-Man 3...Shrek 3...I had not had great experiences with "3" movies. But, of course, it was Pixar, and they are sort of the last word on touching, heartwarming family movies.

Toy Story 3 is about what Toy Story 2 leaves laying far in the distance. The toys know Andy will grow up some day, but they're perfectly happy to be there for him for as long as they could. In Toy Story 3, Andy HAS grown up, and is moving away to college. It's really powerful to see how many of the old toys have gone away--the gang has been whittled down to a lonely few. One toy in particular (I won't spoil which) I found particularly sad to be missing.

I'm sure you know the rest of the idea from the trailers: *do not read if you haven't seen the trailers and don't want ANY idea of what it is about at all* the toys are donated to a daycare, the daycare is not so good, and the toys learn that Andy does, in fact, want them.*end spoilers*

This movie has so amazing. I catch myself using the word powerful a lot, but there's something you don't understand. When I read a really good story--not just good but REALLY GOOD--I get this feeling in my back and chest. A sort of tinging sensation that two parts awe and one part jealousy. This movie, from first moment to last, did that to me. It gets surprisingly intense, and that's one of the best things about it. It doesn't pull punches. It explores what it means to be a friend, and what true loyalty is. It tests things, strains partnerships, and really digs into the meat of what it's like to be human, all while telling a beautiful final chapter to a story that many have literally grown up with.

Go see this movie. I honestly think it's better than Inception, and I LOVED Inception. If you have to see three movies this year, THIS BETTER BE ONE OF THEM.

The fact that Andy is going to college at the start of the movie is one of the things that tugged at me the most. I knew exactly what it felt like to have to look through my old toys and decide what they're fate should be--and that feeling was only heightened by the acute awareness that they might worship me like their own personal god (thanks Pixar! :P).

The ending of the movie is one of the most satisfying conclusions to a story I've ever witnessed.

In closing, the three things on your mind, movie-wise this year:

1. Toy Story 3
2. Inception
3. Scott Pilgrim

Scott Pilgrim

2010-08-15T12:26:00.010-05:00

Do you like video games? Do you like punk rock music? Do you like stories about personal growth and the value of experience and how those experiences help us in our growth? Go see this movie. Go see it now. This movie and Inception are my two new favorite movies of the year.

My wife loved this movie more than any other movie she's seen. She loved it more than Shaun of the Dead--another Edgar Wright movie.

I Have News!

2010-05-17T18:03:00.004-05:00

It's been a long time, and I have a ton of news. Lots of news.

The last time you heard from me was Spring Break. Darling Dearest was in rehab, I was concerned with make up work and finals, and I wanted to write some. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to write. I spent most of Spring Break reading the last two books of the Twilight Saga because of Darling Dearests urgings. I didn't work on my make-up papers (which I should have) and then I returned to school.

A couple of weeks later--April 1st--I turned 21. It wasn't a big deal. I've never really cared about drinking one way or the other. I had never had a drink up until that point (except for an accidental sip when I was little and thought it was Peach Nectar and not a peach wine cooler), so I didn't rush out and celebrate with a giant bash. As a matter of fact, I stayed in all evening and frantically worked on my make up work.

The next day, however, was much more eventful. Darling Dearest got out of rehab! Thankfully, it was before the 10th of April, which is our anniversary of the day that we started dating. We had a lot of fun, and then the big day came. April 10th, 2010. One year from the day we started dating. 1 year of ups and downs, comedies and tragedies. And it happened. We got married. It was a very small ceremony at my grandparents. She looked beautiful in her little white dress we got.

The same day we got married, we moved into our new apartment. We are now completely on our own.

We've been married for a little over a month, and it's been amazing. I never thought I could love someone so much.

I don't want to get too mushy and such, so I'll just say that this was literally the best decision I have ever made.

Darling Dearest still has a few problems--she walks with a limp, her left hand isn't QUITE as steady as the other, and she can't really raise her left foot up. However, she's come SO FAR in such a short time that I can hardly complain. Also, she's been playing Guitar Hero to help her coordination in her left hand, and we're going to the gym at our apartment complex to build strength and help her work on her walking more. In addition, we're looking into some outpatient rehab.
So...that's how things are. You are now up to speed. Thankfully, I managed to make it out of the semester alive...although not without a few problems involving my scholarship. But that is all going stuff that we'll deal with as we can. I'm so glad to have the summer to spend with my new wife.

FINALS WEEK!

2010-05-04T00:11:00.005-05:00

Goal

2010-03-18T17:12:00.003-05:00

Before I do anything else, I just wanted to let you guys know how Darling Dearest is doing. She's doing great. She's been moved to Stage II rehab, and she's making a fast and amazing recovery. We're hoping she'll be out by early April...but it might take a little bit longer. Even though she's able to walk with a walker with amazing accuracy, they only just let her do it full time, and she still has to have someone watching her inside and touching her outside. She feels that a bit unnecessary, and since I've taken her out a few weekends, I would agree to a certain extent.

Okay, so update over, onto the original reason for me writing this:

Tomorrow is the first day of spring break. (I always count Friday evenings. Why wouldn't you? that's quality time to stay up late and not worry about class...as opposed to normal weekdays were I stay up late and not worry about class...) So what does the first day of Spring Break mean? Well for one thing, I get to see Darling Dearest, for another thing, I get a chance to hopefully wipe out the remaining make up work for my classes last semester, but also it's a chance for me to relax away from the pressures of class and the demands of teacher liscenship.

I've got big plans for this week. As I've already stated, I'm going to wipe out my make up work. I also plan to sleep and read a lot. And write. Yes. Write. Something that has been eaten by the pressures of reassembling my life after my accident. I want to use this week to finish a short story. I want to have a short story done, edited, and ready for mailing off when I get back to school. Will it get accepted--probably not. It'll probably suck. But I want to use this prime opportunity to WRITE.

Wish me luck.

On a side note, wish me luck on finding an apartment as well. Darling Dearest and I are looking for one for when she gets out of rehab. Fingers crossed.

Good News!

2010-02-02T15:26:00.002-06:00

Actually, it's great news! ...actually, it's fan-freakin'-tastic news!

Darling Dearest has gone to a two week rehab session, and has successfully finished. Now she moves on to the more intensive and prolonged rehab. But that's great! Because she's out of the hospital! Wahoo!

Other than that, I really nothing to add. I've been trying to make up my finals and essays and final projects from last semester.

I do have some pretty cool news though: Author John Green has had a baby! Henry Green was born a few weeks ago.

Other than that...I've finished reading Looking for Alaska. I liked it very much. Not as much as Paper Towns, but very much indeed. Now I'm working on Catcher in the Rye and Children of Jihad. Strangely enough, I started reading Catcher before he died.

That's all for now.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

2010-01-18T07:00:00.000-06:00

So, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post. At first I was waiting for my second day of classes so I could give you a first impression run down of how those were. Then I was waiting because I had so much make up work. Then I was waiting until I got back for the week from my trip home. Now? Well...now I'm writing the post, so all is good!

So, I'll start with my classes.

Systems of Grammar: This is easily the classes I'm the most disappointed in. I mean, while it's fascinating to learn how all of the different dialects of the country have a specific reason for their language being structured the way it is, and while it's interesting to learn how languages--specifically English in this case--change through the years, it's mostly Hippy Dippy Grammar Part II. One of my biggest fears about entering the teaching field as a high school English teacher is that I won't know enough about grammar to be an effective teacher. I'm afraid that I won't remember what participle phrases are, what prepositions are, or how to recognize passive voice. I really wanted Systems of Grammar to be a back to basics teaching of the mechanical workings of English grammar...but it's not. I guess I'll have to go ahead and buy some grammar books to refresh myself on the subject before I graduate.

Classroom Application of Educational Psychology: This class seems to be an exercise in redundancy. It's supposed to point out things that are obvious, but that we just haven't given time to think about them. To me, though, it seems like a waste of a class. I realize that kids from strict, authoritarian families are going to be more likely to be passive and prefer structure and being told what to do, while kids from neglectful families or families who make the rules together are going to want fewer rules and less structure from the teacher. I realize that I, as a teacher, have to be sensitive to each student's need as an individual. So...this class makes me sleepy.

Adolescent Development: Is taught by the same teacher as the previously mentioned class, so it's just as boring, and, for now at least, is covering the same material as the other class. I know that the other class is reviewing this a little before moving on to other stuff, but both seem to be a bit redundant. Nevertheless, they're required for my major, so take them I must.

Adolescent Exceptionalities: This class is much more interesting than the other two classes about adolescence. For one thing, the teacher is much more engaging and entertaining. For another thing, the class doesn't point out the obvious, it's about the out-of-the-norm cases. My only beef with this class is that I have to have 10 hours of observation time with an "exceptional" child, which is going to put me in a bit of a crunch with my other class--"Application of Educational blah blah blah"--because I need an additional 10 hours of observation with a high school teacher in the field I will be teaching, AND two videos of me student teaching a class. In addition to the 10 hours with the exceptional student, I'm also expected to write a 15 page paper about the experience by the end of the year. BLARG!

British Literature since 1800: It goes without saying, I enjoy this class. We're starting with Jane Austen's Emma, which I like so far. I've had this teacher before, so I don't think I'll have much to complain about in this one class.

Besides all of the work I'm expected to do for the classes listed, I also have to make up two final exams, finish my poetry portfolio from last semester, write two final papers (6-8 pages each), and make up all the assignments I'm missing for my Technology class. I have a LOT of work to do. Stupid car crash.

On the good news front, I've had two of the most amazing days with Darling Dearest ever. She's not in rehab yet--she developed a little fluid on the brain, so they did a procedure to drain it. However, she's since recovered and is doing leaps and bounds better. She's regained memories that I didn't think she'd every remember, and her personality is finally almost completely back. For example, she misses me, which is something I haven't heard in a while. She calls me all the time now, and that makes me happier than I ever thought I would be ever again.

I also, in my infinite wisdom, decided to purchase a camcorder. I'm very excited that it will be arriving soon (might already be here...although I may have to wait until Tuesday to get it if the Post Office is closed tomorrow...boo...).

So that's the news so far. I plan on spending my Martin Luther King, Jr. Day working on all of my make up work and praying that I can get it out of the way before the work piles on from my other classes. Then, if I make significant enough progress, I'm going to see Darling Dearest in the hospital because I have no classes tomorrow! Whoo hoo with going to see loved ones.

So that's all for now. Remember to leave cookies and milk for Martin Luther King, Jr. so he can leave you presents and freedom under your tree.

Moving Day!

2010-01-10T10:00:00.001-06:00

If you're reading this, then it's moving day and I'm on the way back to college. The hilariously sad part of this particular moving day is that, should things work out the way I want them to, I'm moving up to college today, and I'll be moving again at the end of the month to my awesome new Apartment of Awesomesnaps (TM). So, yes it is a bit of a wasted effort, but I also need to have a place to stay for the next two weeks.

I gotta say, it's a bitter sweet feeling going back to college. I do like college, I like living on my own (no offense to my family. They're fantastic and have been amazingly supportive during for the past month, but I do like having my independence back), but I will also miss my family. We've kinda reconnected a bit since my accident. It's the kind of experience that brings any family together.

One of the most surprising (and strangest sounding surprises) is that I really like my brother. I mean, I've always loved him, and I've always been there for him, and he for me as well, but I caught just a glimpse of the man that he's turning into, and I'm very pleased. I think he'll do great in this world. He graduates this may, can you believe it? Well...I mean, I'm sure you can. You don't really know him at all. But trust me, if you knew him, and you were his brother, you would not be able to believe how fast he's grown and you'd probably be astounded that he's going off to college in the coming August as well. I'm very proud of him.

The other bitter taste to the sweetness of independence is independence without Darling Dearest. She's not going to be there, and even though I've gone to college for several years without her, I can't imagine how I did it, and I definitely can't imagine how I can go back. The one cooling salve to that sting is that she will only be an hour from me because she got accepted to a very exclusive rehab program and will be soon getting training in all of her physical and mental skills. It's a 2 week program that is pretty hardcore, and then she'll be sent for a more prolonged stay at another rehab institution. But the fact that in just a little over a month, she's already come back this far is astounding and I'm impressed more everyday by how amazing she is. [/awestruck]

Anyway, so as I was saying, I'm moving today. And then moving again at the end of the month, but to my Apartment of Awesomesnaps (which will eventually get a much cooler name).

On resolutions news, I'm doing okay.

Health wise, I almost don't even need my cane anymore. I darted across the room the other day without it to clean up a spill in the living room. It was a little uncomfortable afterward, but it means I'm aaaalmost ready to be totally caneless.

Reading wise, I have started on the Twilight saga, which is much, much better than I first gave it credit for. Of course, the movies are vile pieces of garbage that should never see the light of day, but the books are pretty good. It is kinda creepy that Edward is so very old compared to Bella...who is but 17 (*coughpedophilecough*), but I guess love comes in all forms. And I am...shamefully...Team Edward. There I said it. I have finished Twilight and New Moon, and since I do not have Eclipse or Breaking Dawn (or as my brother so elegantly retitled it, Breaking Wind), I have moved on to Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

I didn't think I'd like it as much as I liked American Gods--and I really liked American Gods--I'm not hooked into Stardust as well, and look forward to finding out more about Tristan Thorn and his adventures in Faerie. So, two so far with number three closing in fast. After Stardust, I will move onto a non-fiction book called Children of Jihad in my ongoing efforts to read outside of my norm (fiction), and in my ongoing efforts to keep myself informed.

Writing wise, I've been doing okay. Just working on notes, and came up with an idea that should have been obvious from the get-go, but was not so obvious for some reason (I don't understand my thinkings!!). I have trouble nailing this one down, and just thought of more things this evening that I missed in my earlier drafts of my outlines. Don't want to talk about it too much. I always wind up not finishing them.

Homework wise, there is nothing to report. I have not been back to school yet.

So, anyway, that's how my Sunday is going to be going--moving, unpacking, tidying up, etc. How has your weekend been?

A Frigid, Soggy Friday

2010-01-08T20:54:00.005-06:00

So, how about this weather, eh? Well, those of us in the south, anyway, are experiencing the craziest winter in a while. It's currently 12 degrees Fahrenheit (I can never get that on the first try...yet another reason why we should switch to Celsius!) outside. It's been a long time since it's been this cold, and the wind chill factor is making it as low as -5 degrees outside. Now, I find this a tad bit unfair. All these years, when I was in school and praying to any deity in control of the weather that would listen, it would never snow. Or it would snow a smattering--enough to make the roofs and the grass white, but never touch to roads. This year, when I DO NOT want it to snow because my fiance is in the hospital in a town several miles on a curvy, woodsy road away, the weather threatens to snow every other frickin' day. This shows a cruel sense of humor on Nature's part. Surely she should realize that I've got important places to be--I already missed my check up on my pelvis thanks to this ridiculous weather.

On the other hand, this weather sort of cheers me up. I worry about global warming, and looking at the thermometer and seeing "12^F" is a nice little assurance that we're not quite as far along to Hell in our hand-basket as I thought.

On another note, I think that our family is cursed. I don't know if our house is on an Indian burial ground, if maybe we hit an old gypsy with our car, or maybe denied some crazy old lady an extension on her house payments, but somehow we have crossed some spirit we should not have crossed.

Just when things start settling down, I learn that my scholarship was revoked because I "didn't complete the number of hours necessary to keep it." Nevermind that I contacted everyone and told everyone important that I was in a wreck, could not return until the next semester, and contacted all of professors thusly. Thankfully, with a little persistence, I managed to get it back.

In addition to that, my brother came home to see water gushing from the house. Since our house hasn't been on anti-depressants in years, he figured it wasn't crying. Nope, turns out a pipe burst in the ceiling in one of our rooms. Hooray flooding! It flooded the kitchen as well as the laundry room. So we'll have to get that fixed tomorrow.

C'mon 2010, you gotta do better than this. Don't you want all of us to talk about how much better you are than that crappy 2009?

On a much brighter note (and the third edit so far) I am pretty much positive that I will transferring dorms. The cool thing is, this is less a dorm and more a private apartment. It has a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom, and a bedroom, and is the bomb-diggity. It'll still have the luxury of a meal plan should I have no food in the house, but also have the advantage of being able to cook super healthy meals for myself whenever I want. I don't have everything squared away yet, but I'm very, very excited.

So how has your week been?

(By the way, how do you like the new template? I think a new year is always a nice time for some redecoration. I also have a new template for the main site as well, although I was looking for one a bit snazzier, but it's hard to find good free website templates. Oh, if only I had a web designer.)

An Attempted Look into 2010

2010-01-05T23:00:00.004-06:00

I was reluctant to write this post. See, last year my life was very clear. I was going to school, trying to get healthy, trying to survive in school...it was sort of high school all over again, but with some adult training thrown in for good measure. Not very much to think about, just doing. My life was already sort of planned for me...at least...for the year...

This year, so much has changed. I'm engaged to be married. I always thought I understood the bond that a husband and a wife share. I romanticized it, and sometimes even envied those with significant others to faun over. It's only now, with Darling Dearest in the hospital, that I realize how much that other person gets under your skin, gets inside of you in every way, and how incomplete you feel without them. She's only in the hospital, but I can't go see her everyday, I can't be there all the time, and I classes start back Monday. And even though I've been doing it for years, I can't imagine going back to school without her. In addition, since so much of me is wrapped up in her, the whole year feels up in the air. How fast she gets better, how fast she recovers, how fast she regains movement and cognizances...it's all up to her.

With that said, when I sat down to make resolutions, I had no idea what I wanted to resolve. With Darling Dearest...nothing feels as bad. My life was almost absolutely perfect. If I gained a little weight...so what? She loved me. If I didn't read as much as I wanted to...so what? I spent time I wasn't reading with her. If I didn't do my homework as promptly as I should have...so what? I had more important things to do--like spend my time with her. Now, it's a similar, but starkly different feeling. Now it's almost pathetic. If I gain weight...so what? The person I care about is miles away from me. If I don't do my homework...so what? I'd rather be with her in the hospital.

I realize this is not the mindset to have. And so, with that, I have decided on my resolutions.

1) Try to eat healthy and get my weight down. It's a problem that runs in my family, and I want to nip it in the bud. I'm trying to create good habits that will carry over into the years when losing weight will be a real problem. Obviously I can't exercise...because I can't do any real lifting or running until my leg heals, but I can control what I eat, portion size, snacks, etc. This will also be good for me, because it will force me to work through my depression in a way other than eating--which is what I notice I do when I get depressed.

2) I'm going to try to do my homework promptly. While this shouldn't be a problem, I get bored with it easily, and I would rather go and do other things. But without Darling Dearest, I don't have to desire to go out much. I figure maybe I can use this to my advantage to get my homework and studies done. The better I do in school, the better chance I have at graduating sooner, and regardless of when Darling Dearest goes back, the better chance I'll have at getting a job and securing my life with Darling Dearest.

3) I going to try to write more. This is a staple resolution. I love to write, and on those days when the writing is fresh and new, I get this thrill that I can't get anywhere else. But eventually, whether because of school or other important things, the writing falls by the wayside, and when I try to go back to it I've lost interest in the project. I have the same problem with a lot of things--homework, working out, writing, reading--I lose interest and lack the drive to get myself motivated to do it when I don't want to. So that's gotta be fixed. As for the specifics of the writing goal, I really don't know what I want to do. I don't know how much I can write a day, because I've never really written everyday despite of my schedule.

4) I'm going to try to read more. I like to read, and I notice that I put it aside because TV is mindless and easy. I don't like that I settle on mindless and easy. I think I'd like to read an hour a day. That should help with multiple things, including the Lit classes I will be taking. Also, it means that can try again to read 50 books this year. 23 is a disgraceful number. Not even half. Ha ha. I would like to do better than that this year.

5) I'm going to try to keep from wallowing in depression. It's easy to slip into that mindset. To start blaming myself for what happened, and to get depressed about how good things were compared to how crappy they are now. I can't do that. I don't want to do that. So I'm going to try to keep my mind off of things and be hopeful and strong. I have to be hopeful and strong, for Darling Dearest, for me, for our future together.

So that's my resolutions. To be healthy, to do my homework, to write, to read, and to be strong. It seems like such an easy to do list written out like that. Here's hoping I'm up to the task.

One Last Look Back on 2009

2010-01-02T17:34:00.005-06:00

I figured before I go on to posting about relevant things that have happened in 2010, I should look back and see how I did this last year, and what I can improve on in the year to come. So let's have a look, first, at my old resolutions:

1) Continue to work on getting healthier -- cutting out junk food, working out, running, drinking mostly water, etc.

*I did pretty good with this...in the first half of the year. The problem was going home. Where I'm away from the school's carefully portioned meals and healthy ingredients. I gained a bit of weight over the summer...and then I met Darling Dearest, who's greatest passion is Taco Bell. And then I had the wreck, which caused a month of inactivity, and going to and from the hospital means a lot of eating out, which means I've gained somewhere between 15 and 30 pounds. Gotta do better in the year to come.*

2) Manage my money better. I was way to loose with it last semester, so my resolution is to budget it out better so that I don't blow through it with thoughts like "Oh...it's only $5..."

*This was a complete and utter failure. Just trust me.*

3) Try to get out more and meet more people. This is one that will be really hard, as I'm usually content just hanging in my room when there's nothing going on. The biggest problem will be that I don't know how to meet new people.

*This was actually a major success. I've met tons of people. Switching to a new dorm helped a lot--I met lots of nice people--and I started dating Darling Dearest, who introduced me to all of her friends. So I've met lots of people. Go me.*

4) Try to write more. What I'm thinking about right now is 2000 words a week, and a short story a month.

*Another dramatic failure.*

5) Work on doing my homework early rather than procrastinating.

*Semi-success. I'm gonna say I got a little better, but didn't improve as much as I wanted to.*

Besides that, what else happened? Why, I was taking part in the 50 Books Challenge of 2009. Did I succeed?

No.

I only read 23 books in 2009. That's seven less than in 2008, and three less than in 2007. Not quite half of the books I was supposed to have read. But I did succeed in part of the challenge--to broaden your reading scope. In that regard, I was a success. Just because it might be interesting here's a list of the books I read during 2009.

1. The Smoke Thief - Shana Abe
2. Blaze - Richard Bachman
3. Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison
4. Go Down, Moses - William Faulkner
5. The House of Mirth - Edith Wharton
6. The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas - Gertrude Stein
7. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
8. Hawkspar - Holly Lisle
9. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe - Douglas Adams

10. American Gods - Neil Gaiman

11. The Golden Compass - Philip Pullman

12. Create a Plot Clinic - Holly Lisle

13. Women and the Family in Chinese History - Patricia Ebrey

14. Precious Records: Women in China's Long Eighteenth Century - Susan Mann

15. Cinderella's Sisters : A Revisionist History of Footbinding - Dorothy Ko

16. Beowulf - Seamus Heaney

17. Northanger Abbey - Jane Austen

18. The Subtle Knife - Philip Pulman

19. An Abundance of Katherines - John Green (which is, ironically, a very fitting number on the list)

20. Create a Character Clinic - Holly Lisle

21. Paper Towns - John Green

22. The Emerald Tablet - P.J. Hoover

23. The Secret Lives of Great Authors - Robert Schnakenberg

So what did I learn from this list? I really like Toni Morrison. I would like to read more books by her. A lot of the books were for classes (like the Chinese history books). Actually, though, they really got me interested in Chinese culture. In addition, I've learned that I really like John Green's books. I haven't, until now, read them, though I've been a fan of his YouTube show for a year or more.

Also, I finally read The Emerald Tablet, which I really enjoyed. It has a Rowling-like prose style, but the world is totally original and interesting.

By far, the most interesting book on the list was Secret Lives of Great Authors by Robert Schnakenberg. I learned lots of very interesting things.

Louisa May Alcott was addicted to opium, but it was for medical purposes.
Emily Dickenson was so reclusive she had to have doctors examine her from behind closed doors. She also chose to wear nothing but white.
Ernest Hemingway spent a lot of time trying to affirm his masculinity because when he was little his parents dressed him up like a girl and called him Ernestine because they wanted a daughter so much.
T.S. Elliot loved practical jokes a lot, and idolized Groucho Marx so much he kept a portrait of him up in his house. The two actually had dinner once, and while Groucho expected them to talk about literature, Elliot just gushed about how much he loved his movies, and constantly quoted the comedian.
F. Scott Fitzgerald went through several titles for his novel The Great Gatsby. He finally decided on Under the Red, White, and Blue, but it was too late the halt production, and so The Great Gatsby it is.

Interesting stuff, to say the least. There was a ton of stuff about authors from Shakespeare to Ayn Rand to J.D. Salinger. From Lord Byron to Mark Twain.

And last but not least, I have one more thing to post about. To ring in the New Year, I am proud to announce that I have purchased a replacement car (Not without a certain pain in my stomach, though. Too bad we couldn't afford full coverage on the old one.) I am the proud owner of a (slightly used) new 2007 Pontiac G6. Whoo hoo! *confetti flies* *horns blare* *"Auld Lang Syne" starts to play* I really am glad to have a new car. This one apparently has airbags on all sides, which I was quite happy to learn. I don't have a keyless fob though. Too bad, because I want a clicker, ha ha. I'll try to post a picture of it later, but just know I am pleased to be nearly fully mobile again.

I'm still coming up with resolutions, so that'll come later.

So, how did you do with 2009? Did you have any successes? Any...not-so-successes?

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T00:01:00.001-06:00

From me at SoaM to you, I hope you have a happy new year. May the coming year bless you with as many blessings as the old one and much more. May you find love, keep love, or help your love burn stronger. May you live in the moment, with many exciting adventures, and may you find that balance between living the exciting, while still finding the time to slow down and enjoy what you have.

Happy New Year.

Goodbye 2009!

2009-12-31T11:05:00.004-06:00

Well, 2009 is drawing to a close. And I gotta say, this year, I'm glad to see it go. It's hard to classify this year. On the one hand, I want to say the year was a success. After all, I met the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with--something I never thought that I would do, but especially not so young. And yet, I have, and it's fantastic.

With that said, in the same year that I met my beloved, I almost lost her. Twice. I met her at the beginning of the year--one year ago today, as a matter of fact--and I almost lost her in April. A tornado hit and destroyed a good portion of my hometown. Several months later, I was in a horrific car crash that my girl and I are still recovering from.

So where does 2009 lie? Is it a draw? Or should it be packed up and shipped out with a "good riddance" to follow it out the door. These are questions I don't have the answer to.

So I talked about the bad things--a tornado, a car wreck, various drama's a college involving regime changes, major drama in the summer from my fiance's crazy family--now I need to talk about good things.

I met my beloved. We began flirting, and the first several months of dating-but-not was awesome. We talked on the phone for hours. It was amazing. We started dating, which was even more amazing. We had tons of fun over the summer, despite drama, and our relationship grew. We went to college, where things were nearly perfect. I was fortunate enough to come into a bit of money so that I could some things I've always wanted and a new car. I got engaged. I began planning the rest of my life with my girl. My fiance has made a dramatic recovery from the wreck. The doctor's said she's 3 months ahead of schedule. She's doing amazing, proving, once again, how awesome she is.

I think if there were a theme to 2009, the theme would be change. So much has changed this year. My brother is in his senior year, I got engaged, we both got new cars, friends moved across the country, others drifted away, some drift back and forth. I got a bit of money to start planning a life with. I walk with a cane. My town has been rebuilding itself. Hundreds lost their homes, and yet, I've heard some say that the tornado saved a drowning town--now many of the companies that had no work have work to do again.

Whether they're good or bad changes, they were changes nonetheless.

So, goodbye 2009. I really won't miss you that much. You gave me some tough love, and I'm not sure I've forgiven you for everything you've done. But you brought me some really good things, too. I extend a firm, curt handshake to you. Welcome 2010. I hope you bring twice the fortune, with none of the tragedy.

News, Good and Random

2009-12-21T22:56:00.005-06:00

French the llama, is it only 4 (almost only 3) days until Christmas!!!??!!!??!?!?!

(For an explanation about the "french the llama" thing, visit this video. It's nothing bad, I promise.)

Okay, so, some good news.

Darling Dearest is doing great. She's gained significant movement back in her left side since last I saw her. She has a slight case of "word salad", which, in case you don't know, means that sometimes she gets the words she means confused with a different word. However, it's much better than it was when she first woke up.

On the down side, she's very, very angry, but that's also understandable. She hates relying on other people, so I totally expected her to be pissed off at the nurses and such when she can't do what she wants.

They're going to start physical therapy with her soon, and she'll probably really like that. She's been trying to crawl out of the bed for a while anyway.

I'm doing good, myself. I've upgraded from crutches to a walker, and hopefully I'll be upgraded to a cane before I head back to college. It'll be hard to get to room on the second floor with a walker.

My Christmas shopping is done, I believe. I just got the last thing today. It's a great present for my mom.

Also, I've been very interested at cryptograms. They're very interesting and fun...but I'm rubbish at them. So...hopefully I'll improve. Also, I'm trying my hand at crossword puzzles. I'm rubbish at those too.

I've found myself not writing like I should be. I'll want to, I'll get on the computer...and then start surfing the net instead. I've been trying to make myself. Gotta get that discipline ready for next year.

I participated in an amazingly awesome project a few days ago. John Green, YA author of Looking for Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, and Paper Towns, is also known for his video-blog project The Vlogbrothers, which he does with his environmentalist/musician brother Hank Green. They're both very funny, and both promote ideals that I hold very dear myself, including green technology, reducing your carbon footprint, and promoting to charities.

Every year the brothers Green head up a project -- which they have dubbed the Project for Awesome. It's a great project where all of their viewers (dubbed "nerdfighters") get together to take over YouTube. You make a video promoting a charity that you really like. Then everyone spams the crap out of the comment sections, rates the videos, and favorites them, so that most popular, most discussed, and most viewed pages are all Project for Awesome videos. This is meant to raise awareness about charities to the average YouTube viewer, instead of them watching videos about water-skiing squirrels.

I participated in it--a 48 hour event--and I am proud to say that not only were all but two of the videos on the most discussed page Project for Awesome videos, but on Twitter, Project for Awesome trended above everything, including the movie Avatar, which made it's debut during the project for Awesome. John Green's goal was to trump Avatar, because it cost $250,000,000 to make, and, as John said, the Project for Awesome is free.

Anyway, so that's what I did with my weekend. It was fantastic. I was very proud to do it. John also auctioned off a pair of what he called his "nerd glasses"--the proceeds went to charity. In addition he's donating $1000 to his favorite charity from the list.

On a tiny sidenote, should you want to help with a charity, but have no money to do so, go to freerice.com. There's a vocab quiz there, and for every question you get right, they donate rice to starving nations. Totally free, and totally helpful in "decreasing world-suck," as the Brothers Green put it.

Anyway, that's all I've got for right now. Tomorrow my brother will be putting up Christmas lights and our tree. I'll be there for moral support mostly. And then we're going to see Darling Dearest before coming back for Christmas Eve with mi familia. Then it's back up to the hospital the next day to spend Christmas with Darling Dearest--because we will have our first Christmas together, dammit!

I hope you and yours are having a very Merry Christmas, a very happy Hanuka, a very happy Kwanza, or whatever it is you celebrate. As long as you're a live and you've got people to celebrate with, then you've got the world.

Happy Holidays all and Best Wishes!

It Was a Very Black Friday

2009-12-17T00:15:00.004-06:00

What I'm about to tell is bad. Very bad. But I'm not telling you this for sympathy. Of course, prayers and well wishes and such are appreciated, and in one place encouraged, but I just wanted you to know that I'm not posting this to further my pity party, but because I respect everyone that reads this blog, and I can't just ignore what happened despite my not wanting to have to think about it. The truth is, I've been avoiding posting this because I'm so very tired of retelling what happened, but I think it will cathartic to admit what happened to not just you guys, but to myself. To fully realize what I did, what the consequences are, and what I can do to get through this.

Let me take you back to Thanksgiving. Darling Dearest and I went to my family's annual Thanksgiving get-together, which is really more of a Christmas warm-up. Virtually the same food, but it's been a lot longer since we've seen each other all together. This is the one where all the latest news is revealed--big news doesn't really crop up much between November and December 25th.

Unfortunately, the evening didn't end well. We had plans on going out of town later in the evening to see one of our college friends and keep him company as he stood in line outside of Best Buy for a doorbuster. It was a computer, and he needed one--his crapped out--and we wanted to take advantage of the good deals anyway, so we decided we'd go. When the time came, the evening hadn't improved much, but we did the best we could to perk things up a bit, and then we left.

The line standing was uneventful, really, except that it was long--horrendously long, and in the freezing cold. The doors finally opened, and we were among the first 50 to get in, which means we had access the best deals the earliest. We grabbed a lot of movies--admittedly, most were for ourselves, but I was also there to get some late (for me, anyway) Christmas shopping done. Then, we checked out. We went and got breakfast, and then, at like 7 AM, we went home.

This next part is the part that's the hardest to write. Bear with me.

I was fine for an hour. Not bothered at all. Then, I started getting sleepy. That was when I started falling back on the thing that usually keeps me awake -- singing. I sing loudly (and more than likely out of key) when I'm in the car alone. Darling Dearest is one of the few to hear me sing totally unbridled like that. She loves it, and I'm flattered, even if for the life of me I don't know why she loves it, but I digress.

The second hour was much harder than the first, and even singing wasn't keeping me alert and awake. I started looking for a place to pull over. I wanted us to be save, and the towns between the city with the Best Buy and my hometown are very Deliverance-ish. So, I wanted to look for a place where we'd be out of the way, but safe from getting raped by hillbillies before we woke back up. This is the most horrific and ironic part -- I was looking for a safe place to pull over. Some place where we would be safe and I could catch a few Z's to recharge. I'm sure you know what happened next, but please, I'm trying not to jump the gun.

The last thing I remember thinking was, "I need to find a place to pull over before I fall asleep. I don't want to crash." The next thing I new, I heard the sound of the rumble strip and the sound of my car in the grass. I couldn't get the car to get back onto the road--it wouldn't hop the curb-like edge of the highway. Finally, I cut the wheel, but when the other tire gripped the road, it sent the car flying across the road faster than I could correct--the road was only a two lane, it wasn't very wide. I slammed on the breaks to slow it down and give me time to correct it, but it wasn't enough, instead the wheels locked and I was sent into a fishtail. The last thing heard was Darling Dearest scream, "Baby!" An almost separate memory was of the impact. It was more of a single frame and a sensation of the world flinging onto it's side.

The next thing I can remember, I was sitting in the passenger's seat. Darling Dearest was lying on the ground just outside of the door, which was open.

I know what happened, thanks to police reports and what my family has told me. When my car started to fishtail, another car--an SUV--came flying over a tiny hill. They saw me, but when they tried to avoid me, they wound up turning into me instead. This next part may sound like me trying to shirk blame, but that is not it at all. It's merely a hypothesis and a guess for why things turned out like they did. They must have been going very fast--well above the speed limit--because when my car was hit it split into two halves, the front half looking fairly untouched, and the back half sent sprawling into a fence as a massive ball of twisted metal. The police report stated that my car split, but really it was more like my car was gutted from the back half. This image is sort of helped by the fact that everything from the door frame on teh passenger side back is gone, safe for the back door on the driver's side, and a tiny, thin strip of metal that used to be a part of the trunk. Apparently the front part of the car was sent airborne, because there were no tire track marks leading to where we stopped.

I don't know how I got in the passenger seat. I was wearing my seat belt. As a matter of fact, I clearly remember making Darling Dearest put her's on before we left.

My mom says that I told her, when I was drugged up on pain killers and sedation medicine, that I saw Darling Dearest and I tried to get to her, but every time I would move my hip would hurt really bad. So apparently I crawled my way out of the driver's seat and over into the passenger's seat to get to my fiance before I passed out.

First of all, the easiest to post, were the injuries in the SUV. They were fine. Although the police report says that someone was transported, being on the scene, and having talked to one of the first responders, I know that no one has. Everyone was fine, although out a car, now, but then again, so am I.

I remember, at some point, talking to a man who I thought was a first responder, but who actually was a reporter for a local newspaper who drove up on the accident by chance, and who was sent over to make sure I was okay and to keep me calm and keep my mind off of my fiance. He said, "I know it'll sound stupid, but...how's your day going?" I believe my response was, "Pretty shitty."

On a side note, I don't begrudge the man at all. As a matter of fact, I'm very very thankful to him. While he was there, he talked to me about Darling Dearest -- about how I proposed to her, what I wanted to do, what I actually did, and a ton of other memories. It was good, calming, and kept me from coming out of the shock and realizing what a horrible mess this actually was. I read his editorial later, where he kicked himself for not having anything better to say. He said he led with something stupid, and finished with something weak. "Well, I'll be praying for you guys, hard." In retrospect, he wanted to have said something better. Being a devout catholic, he wanted to have broken out the rosary beads, or said Psalm 23, or something. Instead, he kicked himself for "I'll be praying for you guys, hard." In my opinion, that was the exact, perfect thing to say.

That's what I wanted.

That's what I was doing.

When I wasn't answering questions, every fiber of my being was going into praying for the survival of the person I care for more than anything else in all of existence. More than my own injuries, more than my own life, the thing I wanted most was for her to be okay. I remember telling her as the first responders worked on her, that had to fight. She had to get better and make it through this, because we had a wedding to plan, we had a life to start, so she had to get better for me.

Out of the accident, my injuries were: a fractured pelvis...well, technically two fractures, but they're on the major and minor pubic bones. It won't require surgery to fix, just time to mend itself. I also had a minor contusion on my lung, which has since gone away, and a ruptured disc in my back.

Now, the next part will sound bad, but what I'm telling you is good news. It shows significant progress, which is why I'm glad I waited to post this.

Darling Dearest got: a broken leg, broken ribs, a punctured lung, trauma to the back of the head, a fractured pelvis, a broken clavicle, and a fractured neck. She also had internal bleeding. I was told later, much later, that they didn't expect her to live. She had to be air-evacuated with a chopper, and they didn't think she'd survive the helicopter ride. She did, but she was hooked up to a ventilator.

Now the good parts: the internal bleeding was only from her spleen, which has been removed. No other bleeding. A rod has been surgically placed in her left leg, and they said they're not gonna even cast it, because the rod is holding everything fine. Her chest tube has been taken out, which means her lung has been fixed. Her neck fracture was, apparently, very minor, and with no spinal injuries at all.

They kept her in a medically induced coma for a week, but now she's awake, her breathing is stable, and she's very lucid. The one downside is she has difficulty moving her left side--not just the broken leg, but her arm, which was not broken. She can move it a little, and she's gaining more movement everyday, but she's still going to need some rehab. She can't talk, but not because she's not actually able. They put a tracheal tube in because the breathing tube was causing her to gag. So, unfortunately, she can't talk. But she can write and do sign language (something I didn't even know she knew!) and that's enough for me, for now. I do, however, look forward to the day when they take the trache out so that she can start telling me everything that sucks. I don't care how much she complains, just to hear her voice will be such music that God and his choir of angels couldn't match it.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that things have improved significantly. If you want to, I highly encourage prayers, good thoughts, good vibes, or whatever you happen to believe in and want to send our way--particularly her way. She needs it, because I want her well ASAP.

Please don't pity me or her, as the news is very good and getting better everyday. Also, please, if you're outraged by this event, and think that I should be strung up for being a terrible and neglectful driver, please don't comment. Believe me when I tell you I'm well aware of my mistakes, and I would go back and fix them in a heartbeat. I would spin the car the other way and take the full brunt of the blow. I'm sure none of you would put anything like that, but I thought I'd get it out there just in case. Everyone I know has been sympathetic, save one waitress who asked me why I was on crutches, and then proceeded to politely and sadly drive what little self-respect I'd managed to gather back together into the ground.

Anyway, I don't want this post to get pitiful, sappy, melodramatic, or anything like that. I've tried to keep to the facts, and I just wanted you to know. I know I'm not the most prolific of bloggers, but I thought I'd let you know, my presence on the blog might or might not be scarce. It could be that when I go back to college this semester, since Darling Dearest won't be able to be there, that I blog a lot with nothing to fill my spare time. Or it could be that I'll throw myself into school work or writing or something, or I may be busy with Darling Dearest, should they move her nearby or should I have the time to leave off to be with her during the week.

What I've taken away from this is, no matter what happens, you have to take your time to understand and adjust to the situation--grieve, laugh, whatever you have to do--and when the moment passes and you have clarity, you have to set your shoulders and keep pushing through until you make it out the other side. There is an "other side," and Darling Dearest and I will make it, and we will be all the stronger and closer for having gone through this. Maybe, though, with your prayers, we can make it just a little faster, though.

Some News

2009-11-15T03:10:00.002-06:00

FIRST: Up until this post, I had 222 posts, which I just thought was awesome.

SECOND: I'm typing this post on my brand spanking new Sony Vaio laptop. I can feel the power radiating beneath the keys.

THIRD, AND THE BIGGEST AND GREATEST NEWS EVER: I'm engaged! I asked Darling Dearest to marry me, and she said yes!

The wedding won't be for a while, because I want to be graduated and have a job before we jump into marriage, but just the fact that we are now engaged is hugely amazingly awesome and I'm so super excited!!!

Story Updates

2009-11-07T00:31:00.002-06:00

I didn't post it on here, but I sent in a short story to a fantasy/sci-fi magazine last month. Unfortunately, it was rejected. However, I'm not bummed. Not just because I'm keeping my chin up, I'm really really proud. Last time I mailed out any stories, on top of a lot of really, really dumb mistakes, they were all form rejections. This time, I received a more personal rejection. I'm not sure if it was just another form of form rejection or not, but it was addressed directly to me, and mentioned my story by name. Regardless, it was a different rejection than the one I received from the same magazine previously, possibly because it was from the Assistant editor? I'm not sure. I just know that any change is good, and I'm taking this as a plus. I'm gonna send it back out into the world come Monday and keep my fingers crossed.

Happy NaNoWriMo!

2009-11-03T11:04:00.003-06:00

Today is November 3rd, which means that NaNoWriMo has begun. Even such writers as John Green knows that it exists, and I really wish I could partake this year. Someday...ah...someday.

Anyway, so I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween weekend. I sure did. I went to a masquerade ball a couple of days before -- with a mask I made myself. It looked pretty damn good, too, if I say so myself. The best thing about it -- and really the best thing about being in college surrounded by fellow nerds -- was all the Star Wars themed costumes. At one point a Sith Lord and Luke Skywalker got into an epic lightsaber battle before Luke had disarmed the Sith Lord of his two lightsabers and thrust his lightsaber into the Sith Lord's chest. Ah...nerd-dom!

The only thing better than a Sci-Fi movie based costume is a literary nerd costume! Someone came dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Past!!! I wanted them to win the costume contest so bad, but the winner was someone who came dressed as an urban gangster...yawn.

Back to the Star Wars stuff, though. At one point, Luke walked up to a girl dressed in white and asked, "Are you Leah?" She responded with, "No. Padme." He responded, "Sweet." The flirting was pretty obvious, and I almost shouted "Incest! Incest!" but I didn't want to be that guy.

Halloween night I watched a couple of horror movies -- really good, cheesey ones, including Zombie Strippers (yes, that is a real movie, no, it's not a porn, and no, you shouldn't watch it if you're easily disturbed. I thought it was funny as hell, though.), and Trick or Treat (a movie featuring Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons about the evil spirit of Rock, so you know it had to be freakin' funny) -- and played Apples to Apples with a couple of friends that came up from my hometown and Darling Dearest. She beat me...of course.

Now we have three gigantic bowls of candy and only me and my Dearest to eat it all. I wanted to give a lot away, and she almost strangled me for suggesting it.

So, it's after Halloween, and you know what that means...

WE GET TO FORGET THAT THANKSGIVING EXISTS AND JUMP STRAIGHT TO CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I may have already done most of my Christmas shopping... I love it that much. Darling Dearest will love her presents, and I really can't wait for all of my friends to get their gifts. I love giving gifts.

I also may be hinting heavily for several books in the near future (including the most recent addition to the Hitchhiker's Guide series).

Speaking of gifts, one of my good friends was nice enough to purchase the Rent movie soundtrack, a rare find indeed. I have yet to find it in any music store. My friend heard me lamenting about my lack of funds, and soon he was insisting to buy it for me. I am now a very happy fellow.

Sorry for the sporatic nature of this update. I've had many essays to write, many books to read, many poems to create, and not a lot of freetime. Hopefully things will slow down soon, although I doubt it. It's creeping up on the end of the semester, things will only get more hectic from here.

Anyway, good luck to those who decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. I'll be rooting you on from the sidelines.

A Little News on Goings-On and Musings on Plans for the Future

2009-10-13T11:23:00.005-05:00

So, over the past few weeks, I've been procrastinating. I have (or rather, had) three essays to write (two now). One for Mythology, one for British Literature, and one for Women in Chinese History (due the day before yesterday). I did get the Chinese one in, but I have yet to start on the other two. This procrastination can be blamed on two things (besides laziness, which should be obvious).

Number the first: I have had an absurd amount of drama at my dorm. My girlfriend and I ran an amazing campaign for such short notice -- we were only told two days before the election that the election was coming up. Usually, we have two or three weeks, this time, we had only just signed up to run when it was already time for the election.

After some amazing campaign posters done by yours truly, and some good promises, which we intended to keep, we sat back and waited. I got the position I wanted -- Vice President. However, my girlfriend did not win President. Then, we discovered a series of fishy circumstances where ballot boxes may have been stuffed and the Resident Director may have rigged the results to put one of his friends in office instead. Regardless, we decided to stick it out. Until we saw the rest of the results of the election...or rather..the consequences.

The entire government was outrageously one-sided, with virtually every position filled by one of my Resident Director's friends. No matter what any of my fellow government members decided to do, it was vetoed instantly if my RD didn't like it. Beyond that, he began lying to us, making threats if we didn't do what he wanted, and doing things that were way beyond what power his position as RD is capable of.

I have taken steps to report him to the people in charge of all of the dorms, and I would like to start an anonymous letter writing campaign of complaints, but as of yesterday, I have also resigned my position. I refused to be berated by someone who was my equal in power and an underclassman and had no idea how the dorm community worked.

Number the Second: I might have stumbled upon one of the greatest things in the history of my entire life. A video blog on YouTube known as Brotherhood 2.0. They're known as the Vlogbrothers now, and they're fans are...Nerd Fighters. How cool is that?

I decided, one day, to start watching from the beginning up to now. I'm only about a quarter of the way through, I've already experienced so much with them -- new jobs, new books being published, having to move, the drama of your house almost being sold out from under you, and through it all, they greet these challenges with a great sense of humor.

Beyond that, though, they do more. They realized, after a few posts, how popular they were becoming, and not only set up a "scholarship to decrease world suck" which went to help one of their friends' family who died of cancer, but they also began donating money to help people in poverty stricken nations start up small businesses. They share many of the same causes I do, but they also differ from eachother enough to have actual, and interesting, discussions.

The thing that has me hooked the most? One of them is a literary aclaimed YA author. John Green, author of Paper Towns, An Abundance of Catherines, and Looking for Alaska.

The other, his brother, Hank Green, is a computer programmer, and a writer for magazines like Mental Floss.

It's so amazing, because to see they interact with the world, their jobs, their wives, life...it makes me think about how I'm going to be when I'm they're age.

I will turn 21 in April, and then I really will be a man. I will have earned every right that you can earn in this country with the exception of lower car insurance, which won't kick in until I turn 25. Anyway, I digress. I'm in my Junior year of college. I've taken the Praxis I already. I aced it. I'm that much closer to becoming a teacher. I'll be graduating in a couple of years, and it scared the bejeezers out of me.

I haven't told my mother this yet, because we're a very, very close family, but I'm thinking about moving out this summer as well. I've been looking at apartments. I've been calculating my budget, based on what I'll earn over the summer, my refund check when I return that fall for school, and other things. I've also been looking at where I want to settle down and spend my life. I would like to move to Chicago and experience the Big City Life for a couple of years. I'd like to get an apartment and a teaching job and just teach for a couple of years, and then move to a 'burb somewhere and get started on the rest of my life. I want to go to England sometime before I settle down so I can say I've been to Europe at least once, and I'd like to get married somewhere in there too.

It's very interesting, but I feel like I'm staring at my own mortality. Planning out these steps for what will begin the real beginning of my life -- and not the safe "Real Life" that college creates, but the real Real Life that comes when you've achieved your goal of having a career and now you're stuck with it for the rest of your life.

I think part of the reason this has been on my mind is because those guys, specifically John Green, are how I want to be when I "grow up." He's a full time writer, he's married, he has a few odd hobbies that keeps him busy, and he's also very worldly, intelligent, well-read, etc. His life is pretty much the goals I've been setting for myself since I was in high school. And seeing someone living the dream -- my dream -- has sort of re-focused me on my dream.

Yesterday, I was looking up cities I might want to think about moving to either after I leave Chicago or if Chicago doesn't work out. I found it. It's amazing. It's everything I want in my future town -- MUCH bigger than my home town, and actually even bigger than my college town. It's cold, it'll get lots of snow, it's not too big, either. It'll be a good break from the city life. It's also really close to some cities that will keep me entertained on the weekends. It's basically my dream place.

And between shopping for apartments for the near future and looking at houses for the somewhat more distant future, I've been so excited I can't sit still. I've also been so scared I've had a hard time going to sleep. It's what I want to do with my life, and really look forward to it, but leaving my family and striking out on my own is...mind-boggling, terrifying, and foreign.

Anyway, enough rambling. I just had stuff I needed to muse on for a bit.

College Update: What happened to my life?

2009-09-25T20:03:00.003-05:00

Let me lay out what I've been up to:

Chinese History Reading
Girlfriend Time
Brit Lit Reading
Poetry Writing
Girlfriend Time
Mythology Reading
Girlfriend Time.

You can see where my priorities lie, right? Heh heh. I've blown a lot of money so far -- way more than I intended. I'm a little worried, but most of the money was necessary stuff -- like clothes, since a lot of mine have destroyed themselves.

But, Hastings was having a sale recently, and I love books, so I checked in. My newest purchases make me really happy:

Odd Thomas in hardcover.
Forever Odd in hardcover.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in hardcover
Stephen King's Bag of Bones in hardcover.
Thomas Harris' Red Dragon in hardcover.
Einstein in hardcover.
The Tale of Despereaux in hardcover.
Schindler's List in paperback.
And the screenplay for Sleepy Hollow (that one was for my girlfriend).

Also, from one of our good friends, my girlfriend got Russell Brand's Booky Wook for her birthday. So I'll borrowing that as soon as she's done.

The one I'm most excited to read out of all of these...besides the Booky Wook? Einstein. He's such a fascinating character. But first, Chinese history, Brit Lit, and Mythology await!

College is coming

2009-08-09T21:25:00.002-05:00

This next week is going to be pretty busy. I've got to start getting things together, packing things up, and just generally mentally preparing for my triumphant return to college. My girlfriend moves up a couple of days before I do, and I'm helping her move up. I also have to take a very important test for my teaching degree this week. And my last hoorah with my friends and fam before I go back. So much to do...so little time.

A Quick Sunday Update

2009-07-26T16:34:00.004-05:00

Friday night I got around 2500 words, and last night I got 2217 words. The story has really come easily. I'm enjoying the quickness with which it's flowing. And the story is so unique and bizarre that it's keeping me wondering what's gonna happen next, even though I've already plotted it out.

Anyway, besides that, I finished Hawkspar by Holly Lisle a couple of days ago. Fantastic book. I couldn't put it down until I was done. It's the sequel to Talyn, which made quite a splash when it came out. If anyone hasn't read it, I recommend going out and getting a copy right now. You'll be glad you did.

That's really all for, just wanted to pop in and update quickly. Hope everyone's been having a great weekend.

First Impressions

2009-07-23T23:25:00.004-05:00

This isn't a blog post about first impressions in the business world -- although it would be a great subject: comparing first impressions in other areas to your writing. Not to self: get on that one.

Anyway, this is just my first impressions on a few things. First of all, I got to see the new Harry Potter movie over the weekend. It was absolutely phenomenal. In my opinion, it was the best one out of all of them -- leaps and bounds better than the last one. You can tell that the original writer is back after letting someone else take over for the 5th one. The diaglogue, pacing, action, all great.

I have two complaints off the top of my head. The final scene should have had Ginny in it. I understand that the scene was showing how the trio started together and would finish together -- sort of a symbolic scene summarizing their friendship -- but Ginny was built up so much in the movie, I felt she became sort of forgotten in favor of action scenes at the end.

And, there was one moment where the cutting from one shot to the other was a little abrupt and awkward. But other than that? Amazing. Absolutely breath taking.

And the man who did the score did a pretty good job. There were moments where I just noticed how fantastic the score really was.

The movie did a great job of getting me excited for Deathly Hallows part 1 and 2. Especially since Steve Kloves is writing this one, too, and John Williams is returning to compose the score for this one -- he was the man who composed the score for the first three movies. And David Yates really proved his chops with this one, so I can't wait to see how he pulls off the final 2 movies.

Anyway, and also, I've been trying out a program that I found and was very interested in a while back, but felt it was too big for me. It's called yWriter, and it's the free, PC answer to Holly Lisle's Scrivener. Everything that Holly says Scrivener does, as far as I can tell, yWriter does as well, and since I don't have a Mac, this is an answer to my prayers. Version 5 is actually the newest version out, but for some reason a run through Google only brought me the logo for the 4th version, but you get the gist.

I was hesitant about downloading it, not because it seemed like a bad software, but because it seemed way too much for what I've been focusing on. I've been trying to write short stories lately to practice my craft and my ability to tell a story before I work on writing a novel and this software just seemed like way too much. Great for novels -- long sprawling things that they are -- but just too much for a tiny, little short story.

I was wrong. This thing is great. In about 30 minutes I had worked out not only my main characters, I have my plot lined out, and it even has an area that keeps track of your writing goals. Input a start date and a finish date and the number of words you want in your story and it calculates how many you need per day to meet your goal.

Pretty user-friendly once you poke around a bit. It can be very simple -- offering just a bare-bones notes area -- or it can be amazingly complex in helping you remember subplots, side characters, locations, dates, items that you introduced that don't need to be forgotten. It'll even help you remember that a character that died in chapter 17 showed back up across the country in chapter 22.

All in all, I'm very impressed with this handy little piece of software, and look forward to using in all of my future projects. It may give me the kick in my pants I need to get writing sometimes.

Let the Countdown Begin!

2009-07-22T18:55:00.004-05:00

25 Days

25 Days until I go back to college. My girlfriend leaves two days early, and I'll be going to help her move in, and I may leave the day before I have to go back up so that I can get there early to move in.

Just thought I'd pop in and update a little. It's been busy. Last week was full time, and this week is back to part time, but I still have two weeks of work left.

Book Giveaway!

2009-07-12T11:34:00.005-05:00

If you're a frequenter of Lynn Viehl's blog, you know she talks highly of Marjorie M. Liu's writing ability. You'd also know that she's got a new book coming out -- Darkness Calls. Well, over at Bibliophiles 'R' Us, they're having a giveaway of the first book in the series -- The Iron Hunt. Pop on over if you want a chance to win. Contest ends July 14.

*Edit* Feel free to stop by Sweeps4Bloggers for their giveaway of Dead Men's Boots by Mike Carey as well.

*Edit numero dos* -- 7/14/09 -- if you're itching for a chance to read The Iron Hunt or her new book, Lynn Viehl is giving away copies of them and some of her novels during her "Left Behind and Loving It" week.

Bad News, Good News, and Other Random Junk

2009-07-11T17:24:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone had a good fourth of July weekend, and I hope that this weekend is going well, too.

My fourth of July was a fascinating example of things being great and tragic all at the same time. I decided to go with my girlfriend and make a trip to my college town to enjoy a nice day out with my girlfriend and my best friend. I figured we'd piddle during the day, and then watch the fireworks show in the park that night.

The trip up there was tons of fun. I love going on road trips with my girlfriend. We argue, we debate, we laugh, we joke, we play with the radio -- we have a great time. The whole trip up there we took turns picking music to listen to and laughing and telling stories. That's when disaster struck. A gaggle of buzzards were enjoying their mid morning breakfast when I slammed into one by accident -- it chose to fly straight and race my car rather than veer to the right. My stomach turned as I heard a glorious thump and crack, and saw, to my dismay, my mirror dangling from my car.

After stopping my car, looking at the damage, and swearing a lot more than I'm proud to admit, my girlfriend calmed me down and convinced me that everything would be okay. A quick stop at an auto parts store revealed that a new mirror would be $64. I'll never make a visit to them again, though. They offered the suggestion of duct tape to hold my mirror in place until I got home and could find another solution, and as the man spoke, he grabbed some duct tape that they had been using -- 3/4 gone -- and proceeded to tape my mirror to my door. It was a terrible job, but it would hold for a while. They proceeded to charge for the duct tape. Jerks.

It was great, though. I got over it, and I had a blast. When it came time for the fireworks, the heavens opened up and produced a hellstorm of rain and thunder. When I had to go back home, it rained so hard I was driving 10 mph at one point, hoping to find a place to pull over to wait out the storm.

Despite it all, I had fun.

Friday was my girlfriend's and my 3 month anniversary. To celebrate, we went to the city. We couldn't see the movies we wanted to see, because my girlfriend forgot to bring her ID, and so they refused to sell her the tickets -- R rated. So, instead, we went and watched The Proposal. It was cute, and Betty White was great. Yes, I know who Betty White is.

Anyway, it was a fantastic date day. We got lunch from Subway, and then ate it in the park. We noticed, at one point, that a train ran around the park. At my insistence, we rode the train around the park twice. It was funny, silly, and romantic. I had a blast. She had a blast. And we were very happy.

Anyway, so that's all the updates I've got. I've written a little, but not a lot. What do you do when you planned to write a short story, and the short story seems like it's going to expand much larger than you intended? It seems like it could extend into a full book. I guess I write the book? Do I set it aside and write something else for now -- since I don't really have time to write a book? I dunno. It's an interesting development.

Happy Independence Day

2009-07-04T07:28:00.003-05:00

Here's wishing you a happy 4th of July weekend from SoaM. I'll be heading out soon to go see one of my friends from college with my girlfriend, and I'll be out 'til Monday, so until then, take care, and don't blow off any limbs with fireworks, please. Be safe.

Handling Our Children with Rubber Gloves

2009-06-30T21:27:00.007-05:00

"Tell them the dangerous things can be over come. Tell them that you can go out and dream. Tell them that you can go out and change the world." --- Neil Gaiman

I've been thinking about something a lot lately. Have you noticed how, as standards on one end of our society continue to make more allowances -- you are now allowed to say the "f" word once in a PG-13 movie -- the allowances at the other end of the spectrum are becoming much more strict.

I was watching Kung Fu Panda at the daycare I work at, and I started thinking about something. Anyone who watched that movie must agree with me that it is a very, very kid friendly movie. And yet, it's rated PG. Why? No where in there is there anything that should garner a PG rating. Then I thought back to the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast. Have you seen that movie? It's incredibly violent. It's amazing, and of course I'll let my kids watch it, but it's also very dark, very moody, and pretty violent. Wolves attack Belle on her horse, the beast is all kinds of angry and violent, and although it may get lighter for a bit, by the time Gaston is out to get the best -- to the tune of a song called "Kill the Beast" -- it becomes very violent again. While Po gets a few karate chops in, and uses the "Wushi Finger Hold" -- which involves a whoosh of air and that's it, Beast gets shot with several arrows and stabbed in the arm with a knife before Gaston falls to his death off of the castle.

Let's not forget a few other children's classics from a few years earlier -- The Black Cauldron, The Secret of NIMH, and The Wizard of Oz. All pretty dark and scary, and yet amazing and valued to this day for kids to watch. And then look at Enchanted, a very cute Disney movie that does a throw back to classic Disney cartoons -- including the witch turning into a dragon at the end. The rating...PG! Even though the movie was a live action amalgamation of every Disney movie ever made, it was rated a whole rating higher than those old movies.

So, I have to wonder. Why do we worry so much about our kids. I was raised on Rocko's Modern Life, Doug, Aaaaah, Real Monsters, and even stuff like The Nightmare Before Christmas. All of those were way darker and more mature than Phineas and Ferb, The Replacements, Lilo and Stitch, and The Emperor's New School. I'd like to think I'm a fairly normal person.

Back in February, I watched a new movie. It was based on a children's book, and when I watched it, I was blown away. The movie was spooky, yes, but it was also fantastic. The movie was Coraline, based on the book by Neil Gaiman. It was a very well received book, and a very well made movie.

One thing that I think makes a really good children's movie is where there's depth -- things for kids and adults. Of course kids aren't gonna notice a lot of the adult jokes -- and they shouldn't. But the adults enjoy it too. And it feels real, instead of dummed down and boiled down to a simple little drivel.

I always heard the phrase "A hero is only as power as the villain he overcomes." That's why fairy tales still resound with us to this day. Sure, it's pretty scary when the witch turns into a dragon at the end of Sleeping Beauty, but what kids take away is not that evil witches and dragons exist...or anything evil for that matter. What they take away is that they can be beaten.

What made me decide to write this post was an interview I saw with Neil Gaiman on YouTube. It covered a lot of his works -- his book Coraline, the fact that it was being made into a movie, and his new children's book The Graveyard Book, which won the 2009 Newberry Medal. There was a bit of controversy that it may be too scary for kids, but from what I've read of it, it's got about the same tone as Harry Potter when it came out. And it's a fascinating read for anyone, with little jokes for adults and kids throughout, well written, smart, and provocative. True, the book may start with a triple murder...but most stories start with an important death. Harry Potter started with a double murder, The Secret of NIMH started after Mrs. Brisby was widowed, and while the Scarecrow didn't die in The Wizard of Oz, he was torn limb from limb by the flying monkeys.

Anyway, there's really no right or wrong answer, I'm just curious why we've decided to treat our kids with rubber gloves more and more over the years. Kids used to be raised on the Grimm's Fairy Tales, and those were very morbid, but they taught us love conquers all, good defeats evil, and magic really does exist. Now we have very watered down versions of the original tales with the dragons' defanged and the witches' warts removed. And with these new prettied up versions of the old tales, are the heros really as heroic as they once were if the villains that they're overcoming are now mere shadows of their former selves? How heroic would Harry Potter have been if Lord Voldermort had been just an angry man with a grudge against kids instead of a murdering sociopath? Or if the dementors had been just hooded guards? What if the prince from Sleeping Beauty hadn't had to fight that dragon to get to his love?

Where have our heroes gone? And why do we feel that we need to diminish their struggles to protect kids from the real world. Neil Gaiman uses an amazing quote by G. K. Chesterton at the beginning of his book Coraline:

"Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

What do you think? Do you think it was wrong to show us those scary, mature things when we were kids? Do you think that we should protect our kids from the darkness of the real world for as long as we can, or do you think that kids know there is darkness in the world, and these little stories and things are a message of hope that you can beat the witches? Let me know in the comments.

And judge for yourself. You can listen to Neil Gaiman's entire book The Graveyard Book on his site here. -- Read by the author! Very cool to see.

Also, here's the original interview -- a long interview, but a very, very interesting one.

Walking On Cloud Nine...Er...Driving

2009-06-24T18:15:00.004-05:00

I don't believe I've mentioned it much on the blog, but my car is...a junker. It's a pretty good car for what it is -- a '90 Chevy Caprice Classic. It was nice in its day, and it still has the remnants of a nice car on it. It was great back in 2004 when I got it, but I've driven hundreds of miles every other week for two years. That does some work on a car. It has a problem with accelerating sometimes, two of the doors are broken, it's just got a huge scratch on the side from my fridge, one of the side mirrors hasn't worked since I got it.

Despite all that...it was a very good car.

However, every car has a time when they're getting past their time. Granted, any car can be repaired, but I don't have the money. I need to give it to someone who can. And in the meantime, I need something to drive. Something smaller, faster, that gets much better gas mileage.

I went shopping around, skeptical about even being able to get a car (I was unsure that I could access my inheritance yet, which has been tied up in court and legal stuff.)

I found a car that I liked that wasn't ridiculously expensive, and so I checked it out. It was a great deal -- great gas mileage, very few miles on it, low price, great shape. So a quick call to my lawyer revealed that I can in fact, get a little of my money if it's for a car.

So, I am now the proud owner of a 2005 Honda Civic.

And I think it looks very snazzy. Really a great buy. Runs like a dream. And when I went to the gas pump, I put $20 in it...and almost filled it up completely. I grinned ear to ear, the whole way home.

P.S., As if to throw out one last "Eff you!" to me, when I got home to get my checkbook to buy my new car, I got back in to discover that now it won't start at all. It won't even chug like it wants to. I had to get my brother to take me so that I could buy my replacement car. Irony, eh?

Revenge of Lobster Man

2009-06-22T00:31:00.002-05:00

How did I get here again? I'd like to say that I made some kind of horrible mistake, and I'm reaping the consequences of my actions, but that wouldn't be true. This is one time where I am not to blame for the misfortune that has befallen me, it is simply sorrow delivered straight from the Universe.

No, I didn't perform scientific experiments revolving around the genetics of lobsters and humans resulting in a super powered lobster man to rampage through my lab and nearby town in a furious rage on a quest to understand his origins. That would be way more interesting.

Thursday was my day off. To celebrate my day off, my friends and I -- and My Darling Dearest -- packed up and headed off to a swimming hole that we know of. It took a while to get there. My brother, who came along, thought we were fooling him when we told him you had to climb rocks to get there. We weren't. We were actually underplaying it a bit. It's a pretty hard hike to get to this swimming hole -- over enormous rocks cliffs.

Once there, I put on enough sunblock to fill the ozone layer and protect the Earth for the next 30,000 years. Then I went swimming. Then we ate lunch. Then I put on even more sunblock. I was literally dripping with it at one point, and I asked my girlfriend to aid me in the quest of rubbing it all in. We're both significantly Irish, so we burn easily. We knew the dangers.

Anyway, by the end of the day, which had resulted in about five hours of swimming, we headed back. It was hot. So hot, as a matter of fact, we all almost passed out. My face started going numb, so we all got back in the water -- a different spot, since we were on the hike on the way home -- to drop our body temperature some. By the time we got back, we were all thankful to be alive.

However, since then I have learned of the price I paid for my desire to continue shuffling along on this mortal coil. My ears, face, and back are sunburned raw, and my shoulders are so sunburned I have hundreds of blisters popping up. It hurts to move, and shirts are things worn only in the most dire of situations. Nobody else got it that but, just me and Oh Dearest One. She got it just as bad as I did.

I missed work Friday because it was so bad, and while it's improved since then, I'm not looking forward to going back to work today just so I can see the little tykes and have them slap me on my burns. By the way, it's "Wet and Wild" themed week at work...yippee dee. I get to be outside in the baking hot sun for hours on end. And I have to go to a water theme park on Wednesday with the kids. Even more time spent outside...

As if that wasn't bad enough, I got a TB test on Monday. On Wednesday, I was supposed to have it checked, but my boss left for the day and left me in charge, so i couldn't leave. So now I have to start all over!! I hate needles, and now I have to do it again...and then again b/c if you haven't had a TB test in 2 years, they make you take two...

Wake me up when this week is over, okay?

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T09:26:00.001-05:00

One

2009-06-19T09:34:00.005-05:00

The other night, I was out with my girlfriend. We had just had dinner, and then we went and just wandered around Wal-Mart (I looked at the books, but she got bored so she wandered around looking at a few knick-knacks) and then we left there, too. We went to McDonald's and had a tea and we just sat and talked.

The next part of the evening was the best part. It was that strange part of the evening where there's nothing left to do in a small town, but you really don't want to go home yet. So, we drove around for about an hour, talking. We talked about everything -- family, friends, school, our hopes, our dreams, where we saw the future taking us. It was an amazing conversation, one that doesn't get had very often.

I brought her back home at about 11:00, and we noticed that someone had left her door open and the dogs were out and running around in the dark. So, I helped her wrangle them up, and after we got them back inside, I put my finger to her lips and leaned my head back.

"What are you doing?"

"Listening."

"To what?"

"Nothing."

She was silent after that, listening to the same thing I was. Then, I tapped her on the shoulder and pointed up to the sky. The stars were very prominent out in the boondocks where she lives. I could almost reach out and grab a handful.

Something came over me right then. It was the strangest feeling I've ever had, and really had nothing to do with the situation. I could almost see how the flow of time was going. How everything in my life had led up until this moment, and I could practically see where my life was headed too. It was like the veil that closes off the past and the future from us had thinned, and I could easily peak into one or the other for a short time.

It was the most calming and yet awe-inspiring feeling I've ever had. At that moment I was truly happy.

Being a Public Nuisance

2009-06-17T00:46:00.004-05:00

So, on top of the new job, I am now the proud owner of lower ears. I received two things yesterday: a new haircut, and a shot.

I had to be talked into the haircut. I don't mind haircuts. Except for the fact that I never like the outcome -- which is probably more the result of me being terribly down on myself -- they're not terrible experiences. My aunt, my mother, she who is so dear to me all talked me into getting a shorter haircut that can be gelled into the "messy" look. Since that was three votes from three women I respect highly, I caved. They think it looks fantastic, so I'll take their word for it. Anyway, haircuts = not a big deal. Sitting in a chair while someone hacks off the fluffy curls that I get when I let my hair grow long isn't painful, and actually sometimes results in some nice conversations.

On the flip side, needles are the devil in every way. Shots are an outdated procedure, and a large source of physical and mental torture, in this age when we can land men on the moon and carry an entire library of books on a device about the size of a cigarette box or smaller. I also, I'm ashamed to admit, throw a huge fit when I have to get them. I complain for days in advance, and the complaining grows worse the closer the shot gets. On the plus side, this means I can never be a heroin user.

Because of my new job, I had to get tested for TB. I have never had a TB test before, but anything that has to do with needles or me losing blood to anybody else puts me on edge.

My girlfriend went with me and, God bless her, she should be optioned for sainthood for not strangling me in the waiting room. I complained the entire time about how they were going to stick me with the wrong concoction and then I'd be sent home in a pine box. When the nurse finally led me back there, I heard a kid crying, and started accusing the doctors of running an underground organization that tortured children and sold their tears on the black market. All this was in good nature, but to cover over how scared I actually was of the needle. I don't think my girlfriend realized how scared I really was until she saw the look on my face -- the look of panic in my eyes -- when I saw the needle.

"Are you serious? Do you see that thing? I thought they said it'd be tiny! You could harpoon a whale with that thing! I was thinking a quarter of an inch long, not two inches! Are you harvesting my marrow? You'll scrape my bone with that thing!"

My girlfriend is way too patient. She even managed to keep her cool when I began demanding blood for blood when the area I got the shot started bleeding.

On the way out the door, I was still ranting, so they gave me a sticker with a happy purple hippo on it that said, in big, happy, ironic letters, "I got a shot!" I accused the hippo of making a mockery of my traumatic experience, and obviously the hippo got it's jollies by laughing at my pain. Also, because the test left a bump for a few minutes, I began trying to convince my girlfriend that what they really did was give me an injection that would raise my body temperature to ridiculously high levels, and that bump was actually me boiling from the inside out.

Eventually, for the sake of our relationship, and my relationship with anybody that meant anything to me at all, I shut up. I consider it payback, though. Dearest One has had her moments where she has gone off on rants too -- usually in traffic when she sees a bumper sticker that contradicts her beliefs, or when she's cut off by some inconsiderate bozo. Once, she tried to tailgate and intimidate a diesel hauling a backhoe in her tiny little Ford. You just can't do that.

I may have been loud and obnoxious before and after the shot, but during, I was calm, quiet, and still as can be. There's something to be said when all you have to do is look into someone's eyes and know that everything is going to be okay.

Sore, Sick, and Satisfied

2009-06-13T09:45:00.005-05:00

Being home for the summer opens up a lot of problems. I don't have as much money, if any is left, and so it eventually becomes needed that I get a job. Unfortunately, my experience with jobs has been pretty poor. Fast food restaurants are really terrible places, and I couldn't bring myself to work at another. I was desperate to find a job other than a fast food restaurant.

However, as I mentioned before, my town was hit by a tornado a few months ago. Jobs have become scarce, since many of the places that you could have worked are now piles of rubble. Just because the jobs are gone, doesn't mean the bills stop coming, though, and I had a nasty sized car insurance bill coming my way. My mom was very insistent that I find a job since I didn't have any leftovers from my refund check this time -- I spent down to the wire, mostly on emergencies that kept popping up.

As my flexing room got smaller and smaller, and the ideal places to work -- where I can score a more desirable, and cleaner, job as a cashier or stockboy -- hiring fewer people, I could practically see the fast food employers rubbing their knobby hands together and getting the human parchment contract ready. (For those who don't know, I claim to this day that the last fast food place I went to work made me sign a human skin contract in my own blood.)

Just when things started getting desperate, my family reunion rolled around. These things always mean two things: 1) A whole bunch of people will pack into one very hot place, and 2) There will be much smiling and greeting and idle chatter until they eventually cluster off into little cliques like some kind of bizarre high school. I'm always hesitant to go to these things because I only know a handful of people really well, the rest are just acquaintances I see every year. To make matters worse, I was talked into doing a skit for them this year. God bless my girlfriend, she spent the whole hour before I was supposed to go on doing her best to pump up my ego enough to get me on stage -- I think mostly it was so she could laugh at me.

Anyway, I digress. I did the skit, and then I started talking to my aunt. She's an awesome lady who I love dearly. I mentioned that I was getting desperate for a job, and she mentioned needing help at the daycare she's running at her church. Of course, I'm thrilled to find this out. True, kids are a handful, but it's so much less stressful than a fast food place. I was ecstatic. I love kids, my girlfriend says I'm nothing but an oversized kid anyway, so I couldn't wait to get started.

Now I'm sore all over. I haven't been this tired in a long time. And to top it all off, it's only a week in, and I already caught a cold from one of the little...darlings...despite all this, I'm amazed at how smart these kids are, and at how creative they are, and as long as they have someone to mediate things, how well they get along.

Needless to say, I'm very pleased with how things turned out.

Fear

2009-06-09T20:44:00.006-05:00

Fear. Writers try to ensnare it in words all the time. It's our job to try to find those words that will make readers' hearts race, their palms sweat, and their hairs stick up on the back of their necks. An entire genre was created for those who couldn't get enough of the heeby jeebies, and even if you don't read horror, every writer uses the tool of fear at some point or another because every character has fears, desires, goals, and the like.

I thought I knew fear. I've experienced some terrifying things before. When I was six, I fell into the adult deep end of a very large hotel swimming pool. I was terrified that I was going to die, and if one of my family hadn't seen me fall in and dove in to get me, I may have.

When I was 12 or 13 I was hiking with my dad one day and fell off the trail and off the mountain. The only things that stopped me from rolling and crashing to the bottom was a patch of briars that I bounced into.

A couple of years later, when I was hiking with my step brother on a camping trip, we became surrounded by coyotes.

However, I never really knew fear until a few months ago. I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. We weren't quite dating yet -- we were in that awkward "basically dating, but still not official" stage, when suddenly she told me that she was watching the news, and some pretty big storms were brewing. I was at college, so I was more concerned with her, but she was more concerned about the ones brewing near me. As I spoke to her, I was slightly concerned, but nothing more than the typical, "Man, I hope the storms don't get too bad."

Well, is the storm progressed, she was placed under a severe storm warning, and then a tornado watch. I became a little more apprehensive, but tried not to let it get to me. My dad died about a year ago from tornadoes, so I have a new found respect for their power. I know what they can do -- I saw his solid oak and stone log house. It was gone except the foundation.

As I continued to talk to her, the "watch" progressed into a "warning." Then, she told the sirens went off. My heart leaped into my chest. She had to go into their shop so that she could be away from windows. She lived in a mobile home...this could end badly.

I had two things come to my mind. I had to talk to her, because she was crying and hysterical and her mom was rocking back and forth in the floor praying and frantic, but I also worried for my family, because my mom and brother were in the same town. However, my mom could console my brother, and my girlfriend had no one, so I talked to her.

Now, I've been terrified, before, but I knew nothing of real terror until this moment. Nothing has ever made my heart stop more suddenly, or my blood run colder than these words: "I can see it."

In those four words, I felt my entire life go away. More than that, I felt my sanity break down. My mind shattered. I stopped breathing, my legs gave out, and the only thing holding me up was the fact that I was leaning against my bed. I was silent, speechless, and in complete and total shock. I finally came back to my senses when my girlfriend said in a fragil, tiny voice, "If you could say something to talk me through this, that would be great, because I'm kinda scared right now."

I was instantly talking. I told her everything would be alright, I told her that nothing was going to happen, she would be fine. I told her all these things, but I didn't believe a word of it. I had an empty feeling in my soul. I could feel a blackness hanging around me, and I felt hopeless as I was witness to everything I loved being torn from me.

After a few minutes of talking, it was over, and my girlfriend got in her mom's car, and her and her mom went to go check on a few things. She heard word from her mom, who was on her cellphone, that the tornado hit the court house, which is just a few blocks from my family's house.

I immediately began calling my family. I couldn't get a hold of anyone. My mom's line was dead, my grandmother's line was dead, and when I tried to call back my girlfriend, I couldn't get through to her either. I was completely and utterly cut off from everyone I loved.

As the minutes dragged on, each second counting off a thousand years, I became convinced that everyone I loved was dead. My stomach twisted into knots, I doubled over, and I cried. I cried with everything I had. As tears streamed down my face, I looked up at the sky and begged God to let everyone be okay.

For 30 minutes, the longest 30 minutes of my life, I called the same 5 numbers over and over again: my mom's cellphone, my house phone, my grandparents house phone, my brother's cellphone, and my girlfriend's cellphone.

Finally, I got a hold of my girlfriend, and while I was relieved, I wasn't consoled. I still hadn't heard from my family.

Just when I was about to go into a full hysteria, with my girlfriend doing her best to console me, I heard my phone beep. My mom's cell. Like a flash, I switched lines, ecstatic to hear from them. Not only were they okay, but there was no damage done to our house. The tornado hit, literally, 2 blocks away, and went in the other direction.

I missed my college classes that day and went home for the weekend early. My town was decimated. Hundreds lost their houses, and a good portion of the town was just gone. It will never be the same again. I could see signs of the damage a couple of miles before I even got there.

The first place I went was to my girlfriend's house. It was then and there that I told her it was ridiculous of us to try to fight it, that I cared about her more than I've cared about anybody in a long time, and that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Obviously, she accepted.

Next, I went to my grandparents house, because all the roads leading to my house were damaged or covered with debris so badly that no one could get through. I met up with my grandparents, and then found a tiny back road that I used to sneak past the cops and the National Guard and went home, and hugged my mom and my brother, and then we went to go see how my aunt fared the storm, all the while, my girlfriend and I called friends to make sure they were okay.

I'm so glad that everyone I cared about not only is totally okay, but none of them suffered any damage to their homes.I've never really understood fear, but after that night, I know it. I've seen it's face. I almost lost everything I love. I'll never take my family for granted again.

In Which Our Hero Realizes He's Very Competative

2009-06-04T14:35:00.004-05:00

So, for the past several days, I've been playing a lot of board games. I used to hate board games. As a younger kid, I thought you had to be really bored to play them (hence the term "bored" games), but for some reason the older I got, the more fun I had with them.

Recently I was challenged to a game of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition 2 by my girlfriend (Miss Gloatsalot) and her mom. Unfortunately, I already knew how this would go. I know a fair amount about pop culture -- being 20, it would be embarrassing if I didn't -- however, I also knew that they cheat. And the bet was, losers wash the winner's car.

Miss I-Must-Be-The-Best-At-Everything and her mom came out of the gate swinging. Honestly, I don't know why I was there. I just sat in awe as the two titans started going at it. The cheating began early. Since there were no rules included in the game -- as it was bought from a yard sale -- they started making the rules up as they went along. I feared for my life when one would begin protesting rules the other one made.

Eventually, a winner had to be found. And thankfully, it wasn't me, or her mom, which was a good thing. If either one of us had won it, I have a feeling I would never have heard the end of it.

However, there came time for a rematch, and I was tired of her smack talking. So, I went out for the crushing.

The night before the Epic Grudge Match of Revenge and Gloating, we had a small game of team Scene It with a couple of our good friends. My girlfriend and I were on a team, and I noticed we work well on a team. We don't get angry, we're nice and cooperative, and supportive. However, I learned that when it's just mano a womano...things get fierce.

The first match was in Scene It TV edition, and while I didn't win that one, I came very close. My girlfriend didn't either, thankfully. My brother did. The next one just wasn't fair. We played Scene It Music Edition. My girlfriend has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of all things musical. Of course she won that one, but barely. I was right behind her the whole way.

It was just two games, but we trash talked each other and gloated like crazy. Sparks nearly caught the curtains on fire as we gestured rudely behind each others back, and my brother just sat in wonder at our titanic battle.

Fortunately, nobody said anything stupid, and we know how to leave our stuff on the field...er board.

But next time...oh she's in for it. I'm gonna brush up on music and get her. And she has a new challenge: Harry Potter Scene It.

Bring it on.

The Triumphant Return of Write Cassidy and the Grammar Kid

2009-05-30T23:57:00.005-05:00

Long time no see...

I refuse to feel guilty about disappearing, ha ha. Life came like a train and smacked the crap out of me. My school load piled up insanely high, and the by April the countdown Doomsday clock ticking into May was so loud I could feel the vibrations each tock sent crashing through the air in my bones. I had an insane amount of work to do by the end of the school year, including wrapping up 30 illustrations for my Edgar Allan Poe class, a 7 page paper for the Poe class, finishing up my observations for my secondary education class, and finishing my portfolio for my creative writing class. I think I'll post some of the stuff I wrote from that class and maybe some of the illustrations from Poe eventually, but it might be a while. My printer/scanner is in storage right now.

The thing keeping my writing bug alive by the end of the year was my creative writing class. Thankfully I'm taking Poetry Workshop next semester. It should be pretty interesting.

As events go, the biggest thing in my life is that I have a girlfriend now. It was a quick courting. We only met in January, but we're already insanely comfortable with each other. So, needless to say, I've been really happy.

In other news, my birthday was April 1st, just like it is every year. I'm 20. I'm no longer a teenager anymore. My girlfriend makes fun of me for it all the time, calling me "Grampa" and such, because she's younger than me and still technically a teenager. But she may not realize it, but I'll get her back, because I plan on giving her hell when she turns 20.

So with my school work keeping me busy, then family problems, and my new girlfriend, I've been really busy. But I also am starting to notice things slowing down some.

Unfortunately, I was not wise with my funds over the last semester, and I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention (bah dum tish!). So...I'm going to have to find a job. If at all possible, I would like to avoid a job in the food industry -- particularly food of the fast persuasion -- because every one of those jobs that I've had has been hell. I would like to enjoy my summer, rather than come home and consider opening a vein or two. An ideal job would either be working with kids, or working as a cashier or stocker at a super market, or a check out person at a movie rental store or something. A low stress job is what I want. But then again, wouldn't we all.

Well, catch up post over, just realized that I haven't been on here in forever.

Oh, P.S. more sad news, I planned on going to a concert to see a rock band I really like -- Forever the Sickest Kids. Guess what? Apparently, the lead guitarist got the Swine Flu! Hopefully he'll get better and I can go see them some other time.

Anyway, it's late, I'm tired, so I think I'm gonna head to bed. Write On!

Still Alive

2009-02-05T22:07:00.000-06:00

I'm still alive, ha ha, just up to my eyeballs in school work. The move was successful, and I'm much happier than I was. Hopefully my school load will lighten in the near future, but Edgar Allan Poe and Modern American Lit look like they want to team up to kick my butt.

Moving

2009-01-26T14:08:00.000-06:00

Things might be a little scarce around here for a week. I'm transferring dorms. I'll keep you posted.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2009-01-22T09:23:00.004-06:00

My first meme of 2009! Alyssa from On the Writers' Road Less Traveled tagged me in this.

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Write down six things that make you happy
3. Post these rules
4. Tag six others
5. Notify me that you've tagged six others--or that you're not in a happy place right now...

Six things that make me happy:

The smell of a freshly opened box of crayons.
The look and smell of a new book before it's been opened.
Waking up early in the morning to find snow already thick on the ground, and it's still coming down.
Reading outside on a warm spring day.
Diving straight into a pool for the first swim of the summer.
The warm feeling of freshly laundered sheets.

As for tagging people....I don't know if anyone will do this. I hesitate to tag people, but I guess if they don't want to they don't have to. Ha ha.

PJ Hoover
Sheri
Jaye Patrick
Merrilee
Beth
Laura

I Swore I Wouldn't Do Another Review

2009-01-20T18:28:00.003-06:00

I know I said that I wouldn't do more of these -- and I won't -- but I have to talk about Blaze by "Richard Bachman", aka Stephen King.

I've loved Stephen King since I was a kid. He was one of the first adult books I ever read -- I believe it was The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, the point is, I really like him. Most of his books are enjoyable to me. They may not always be legendary, but they always provide me with entertainment. I am unfortunate enough to say that I have only read one of the "Bachman" books: Roadwork.

The difference between King's books and Bachman's books is a very noticeable tone change, while the style of writing stays about the same. Bachman books are always sad books, in my opinion. While King focuses on the more fantastic and horrible events, Bachman's stuff is about ordinary people who just happen to get the shaft. His books are, I think, some of King's best work. They always pull on my heart strings.

Blaze is no different. Blaze is about a man named Clayton Blaisdell, Jr -- aka Blaze. Poor Blaze used to love to read when he was little, and he wasn't too bad at math. Unfortunately, he lived in a broken home with a horrible father who got drunk and angry one day and threw him down the stair...and the took him back up...and threw him down again. Now Blaze doesn't think as good as he used to. Reading and math aren't easy like they used to be. They're hard now.

Blaze grows up to be big. Really big. 6'7 big. And like most big, stupid people, he's recruited as the intimidator in a bunch of crimes. He meets a man named George who decides to pull of the biggest scam ever by kidnapping a rich family's kid. However, George dies just before the scheme can begin. Blaze, not knowing what else to do, decides to continue with the plan.

Blaze is structured to alternate every now and then between Blaze's current situation during the kidnapping, and every now and then a chapter or two about Blaze's life growing up in, basically an orphanage.

This book, like a lot of other Bachman books, puts a regular guy in a horrible situation. My heart went out to Blaze. After he kidnaps the kid, he begins to view the kid like his own son. He grows to love the little guy, and like a mama bear protecting her cubs, becomes fiercely protective. As you read, you begin to like Blaze. He's not a bad guy, just dumb. And after reading the rough life that Blaze has had, you feel so bad for him. This pity or sorrow or whatever you call it is increased when you realize that, although Blaze wants to, he can't keep the kid. You find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place. I couldn't pick who to root for, simple and sweet Blaze, or the cops who are just trying to get the kid back home.

If you like Stephen King, this is a must to pick up. He really shines here. If you're on the fence about it, pick it up anyway. The story is so heart wrenching, you'll find yourself almost in tears by the end.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

2009-01-19T17:29:00.001-06:00

Powerful, inspirational man.

Resolution Updates

2009-01-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

Exercise progress: Decent. I worked out twice this week. My work out time is determined by when I go to bed, and that has been effected (not my fault) the last few days. I've been assaulted with loud neighbors, loud music, and noisy roommates snoring and coughing in their sleep. Hopefully this will improve, and with it, my work out schedule will improve.

Writing Progress: Pretty good. I've been trying to adjust to my class schedule. The plus side: I've written over 1400 words this week, which is more than I've written lately. The down side: I can usually write that in one sitting. The writing is coming slow, and at times I have to fight to get started, but once I get the words going, it feels good. I'm hoping that I can keep a weekly goal of 1500 words a week. That seems to be a good goal that's attainable, that keeps me writing, but also gives me the opportunity to do homework.

Eating Progress: Decent. I've slacked up on portion size and the amount of sweets and other ~~good~~ unhealthy foods that I eat. However, they're still a weakness I have to over come. If I can't have sweets, I find myself tempted by seconds. I have to fight these urges.

Money Progress: Steady as she goes. I haven't been spending much money. Between having to buy extra supplies for school, I've only bought two things: a birthday present for one of my friends, and a sample issue of a magazine that I've been wanting to submit to for a while. I'm considering it research on possible types of stories I could write and submit. Other than that, I've made sure that all urges I have are deterred.

Reading Progress: Very good. I'm about to finish Blaze by Richard Bachman (aka, Stephen King). It's awesome finishing two books so early in the year. Hopefully I can keep this up. It's gonna be bit of a challenge with all of my lit classes, though. However, so far, I've been able to balance them very well.

School Progress: Too soon to call. I can say with full confidence that Edgar Allan Poe is absolutely fantastic! I love that class. Getting to read more Poe is so awesome. I forgot how much I like his stuff. Modern American Lit is also a major improvement. I've been able to complete the readings pretty easily, which is a surprise. I think the difference is 1) the teacher is more charismatic, and therefore gets me more excited about the class, and 2) because it's a different teacher, she picks out better stories to read, ones that engage us more. Creative Writing is still kinda so-so. I'm hoping it will get better as we progress. Intro to Secondary Education is still up in the air. We've only had one class. Physical Science is also up in the air, because it's only the first week. It's easy so far, but I know it won't stay that way. Intro to Linguistics is a puzzle. We haven't really done anything yet. Judgement on that class is being reserved until we actually do something.

And, that's it. Hopefully this post wasn't too boring, but I felt the need to record the progress I'm making, and also record so I can see where I need improvement.

R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban

2009-01-15T00:00:00.001-06:00

November 25, 1920 – January 14, 2009

Class Description

2009-01-14T10:24:00.004-06:00

So, I finally have all of my books and required things purchased. The total made my jaw literally drop open. $489!!! $433 for books and $56 for a freakin' transmitter that I will only use for one class and then have to get rid of. Break down of my schedule:

Intro to Linguistics: Studying the concept of language -- where it comes from, some of the truths about it, and the differences and similarities about all of them. Also we won't be using "grammar" in the sense you're used to. So, part BS, part hippy-dippy grammar. We'll be focusing on "the way we naturally use our language, rather than the principles that have been laid down."

Physical Science: Just when you thought you were done with math, we'll throw math AND chemistry at you! That horrible pain inside your skull like someone is crushing your brain with a vice? That's normal. Wear earplugs so your gray matter doesn't leak out your ears.

Introduction to Creative Writing: Yes, we have an Introduction to Poetry class, and yes it is a prerequisite for Poetry Workshop, and yes this class is a prerequisite for Fiction workshop, so we should technically be working on Fiction rather than poetry, but I don't care if you can't rhyme worth beans, that's what I like so that's what we're doing.

Introduction of Secondary Education: Welcome to Bootcamp for Teachers. We're gonna beat you into the kind of teachers we like.

Modern American Lit: In place of a life, you will spend the rest of this semester reading. You may be as pale as an albino by the time we finish -- you won't have seen sunlight for 3 months, but hey! We're teaching Faulkner!

American Literature Seminar -- Edgar Allan Poe: We heard that you like Poe. Well, I just happen to know everything there is about Mr. Poe. I'm sure you heard all those FILTHY STINKING LIES that the media has published about him -- crazy, a drunk, a drug addict -- and I will spend a ton of time dispelling these FILTHY LIES in a calm and even voice. Oh yeah, and we'll read a bit of his stuff too.

Physical Science Lab: See Physical Science.

Do YOU Have a Life?

2009-01-13T00:00:00.001-06:00

Supposedly if you’ve seen more than 85 of these films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, then put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, and add them up. I tag anyone who wants to play. Have fun.

() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x)Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 7

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 16

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 23

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 33

(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 42

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 50

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 62

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 67

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child’s Play
() Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 78

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean’s Eleven
() Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 88

(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
(x) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 98

() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 106

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 120

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf’s Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
(x) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 127

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
() Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
() Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 131

() Basketball
(x) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
(x) Three
Total so Far: 135

(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 139

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
Total so far: 145

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 151

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 157

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Grand Total: 167

So...basically they're saying that my absence of a life or anything resembling it, that not only do I not have a life, the gravitational pull from the black hole that is my non-life is a danger to any innocent passers by. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

2009-01-12T08:37:00.001-06:00

Niftiness and Computer Trials

2009-01-10T00:00:00.003-06:00

So, my desktop with, like, 256 mB of memory (I'm sure that's an exaggeration but I'm mad, I have the right to exaggerate) isn't cutting it anymore. So my grandma gave me her old computer, which is newer than mine. After a week of badgering me to come get it, I go get it and take it home. I take it to my room, I hook it up, I turn it on, it detects a wireless network (ours) I connect...and...then it can't detect them anymore. I checked around, and supposedly all I have to do is remove the card and put it back in, and it should fix itself. I hope so. After last night, I threatened to throw it in the street and back over it with my car. I would have done it too, but my family wouldn't let me out the door with it. The saddes thing is, if we get my computer fixed tomorrow, it'll be just in time for me to leave and go back to college. *le sigh*

My brother is also getting an upgrade (yet hand-me-downed) computer -- my mom's old computer. Since that one needs a wireless card to pick up our wireless network, he put the one from his old computer into. Only now the drivers and stuff won't install. The CD just refuses to open. So now he's stuck meandering through the computer's brain, trying to figure out why the CD won't open.

**Update: It seems that the problems have been fixed, finally.**

Anyway, all these computer problems are frustrating, but I found something that kinda makes the unhappiness roll away. It's Jim Carrey, one of my favorite actors, singing "I Am the Walrus" by The Beatles. Don't judge it before you listen to it. I was surprised that he can actually sing, while still putting his own unique touches on it. Even one of my friends, who is a HUGE Beatles freak, really enjoyed the song. Anyway, for you listening and viewing pleasure, Jim Carrey:

Challenge Update and Musings

2009-01-08T00:00:00.001-06:00

Well, first I'll get to the update about the challenge. I have officially finished my first novel of the New Year -- Shana Abe's The Smoke Thief.

This one was an interesting read to say the least. I picked it up because it was one of the only fantasy books that the Wal-Mart in my hometown carried, and the storyline intrigued me. The story is about a clan of dragons -- or, rather drakons -- that live in a secluded village in England. One thing I liked about this book was the presentation of the dragons. The ones mentioned in the novel -- I'm not ruling out other powers in dragons not mentioned -- could transform (Turn) between a human form, a dragon form, and a smoke form. This was interesting, because, unlike one of my friends who is actually consulting the Dragonology book because those are "the accepted guidelines for dragons" Abe did whatever she pleased with these. I like stories that take things that have been done a lot, like dragons, and turn them on their heads.

Another interesting thing about this novel was the behavior of the dragons. They were intelligent beings, basically humans with enhanced senses, but they were also driven by instinct and ancient decrees. When the Alpha male dragon meets the Alpha female dragon, they were supposed to wed. However, in case you haven't guessed, the heroine does not agree with these practices, and so she spends a lot of the novel fighting her instincts and her natural attraction towards the Alpha male.

This is where things get a little wobbly. The storyline is intriguing: Dragons are forbidden from leaving their little shire. However, Rue -- the heroine -- hates the society. She feels out of place, and the idea of marrying because of custom or nature rather than love disgusts her. So, she fakes her own death and moves to London where she uses her Gifts in the art of thievery. She becomes known as The Smoke Thief, and has all sorts of nifty connections to the seedy London underbelly. Of course, they eventually find her, and she's supposed to return, but the dragon's magical diamond has been stolen by another rogue dragon, and so the two Alphas must team up to get it back. Intriguing for me. Not your typical fantasy story.

However, the story seems to get bogged down with the two characters internal musings about each other. I love him, but I don't. He disgusts me, but he's so sexy. I love her, but I also want her. She's mine by nature, but I want her to return my feelings. There are several times in the novel where the action totally haults because the Alpha male gets a little too horny and tries to go all the way with Rue. All in all, though, I thought it was okay. I think it was good for me, because it was much different than the sword and sorcery fantasy that I usually read, and more romance than I'm used to reading as well.

With that out of the way, I thought I might talk about favorite authors. Is there an author that you grew up reading? Someone that, once you could read adult books, you just couldn't get enough of?

When I was in middle school, I got to read one of my first really long books. I'd read all those children's classics -- Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows, Harriet the Spy, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Chronicles of Narnia -- but my first really adult book was The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King. From there, I believe I moved onto The Dead Zone. I read a good portion of Stephen King's bibliography during my middle school and high school days. I read every King book I could get my hands on: Misery, Cujo, The Dead Zone, Christine, The Talisman, the entire Dark Tower series, Black House, Dreamcatcher, etc.

Then, my friend turned me onto fantasy with the Shannara books, and I started reading every fantasy book I could find. Mostly, books that take place in our world were left behind. The next book on my list, however, is Blaze by "Richard Bachman", aka, Stephen King, and when I read the introduction the first couple of pages, I felt a unique and bizarre feeling. It was almost like a bridge had been built to the past, and I wasn't a almost 20 year old college student anymore, I was an 11 year old kid reading under his covers with a flashlight and the lights out after everyone else had gone to bed. It was a great feeling, like visiting with an old friend that you haven't seen in years (and King's habit of addressing his readers as 'Constant Reader' probably helped a little, too). Do you have any authors that, when you read them, they take you back to your childhood or teen years?

Choose Your World

2009-01-07T10:05:00.003-06:00

S.M.D. had a really interesting post on his blog the other day about what kind of world he would want to live in if he could choose: Fantasy or Sci-Fi?

The question is actually kind of difficult once you start thinking about it. Fantasy and Science Fiction cross over into each other's territory all the time. For example, space opera, a branch of science fiction, is really more fantastic than scientific (i.e., Star Wars). Not to mention all the different branches off of the genres -- would you want to live in a steam punk world? A cyberpunk world? An urban fantasy world? A dystopian sci-fi world? High fantasy, or a modern world with fantastic elements?

I guess I'll go through and analyze what I like about the genres and narrow it down. I would probably want to be able to accomplish something big -- like saving the world. Which means I wouldn't want to be one of the Average Joe's of the world. I would want to be The One, the Last Jedi, the Last Dragon Rider, the Boy Who Lived. Luckily, both sci-fi and fantasy offer something like that.

I think, because I like magic, I would lean more towards fantasy. How cool would it be to be able to cast a fireball from your hand? Besides, with the advancement of technology, there would be even more weapons -- weapons more dangerous and destructive. I think the coolest fights are with swords. Then, it's not necessarily about ambushing, it just relies on skill. Good old mano a mano. Also, the difference between fantasy sword fighting and medieval swords fighting is, in medieval times, you got mangled, and the fighting was gruesome. In a fantasy setting, you would have healers who could save you from some rough wounds -- at least, better than the "healers" from back in the day.

So, for me, between magic, fantastic creatures (how awesome would it be to ride a dragon?), and sword fights, I'd choose fantasy all the way.

Word To Your Mother

2009-01-06T00:00:00.000-06:00

So, PJ recently posted on her site about a word that sums up your year. A few others have done it, and I think it's a fantastic idea. So what word do I want to stand for 2009? Well, thinking about all of my resolutions and all of the things I want accomplished by the end of this year, I think the perfect word for me is "Discipline."

I have lots of things that I want to accomplish. I want to start working out to a consistent schedule -- one that has a minimum for when things are busier, but can be expanded for when I have more time. I also want to start reading more instead of wasting so much time piddling. I want to have a set time to sit down and study and get my school work done, instead of putting it off until the last minute and being crushed under the avalanche. I want to have time set aside to write so that I can get more writing done. I want to have time to hang out with my friends. I want to have time to DO things and gather real life experiences instead of sitting on my butt and doing nothing.

To accomplish all this, what I'm going to need is discipline. I'm going to have to be able to tell myself that no, I don't need that piece of cake. I'm gonna have to tell myself that no, I don't need that movie, no matter how cheap it is. I'm going to have to tell myself that, although unpleasant, actually getting the schoolwork done is preferred to missing out on all kinds of fun because you put off your crap until the last minute.

And so, I need to figure out how to strengthen myself -- how to control my impulses and to learn when to say yes, when to say no, and when to relax and just let life take the lead. If I can do all this -- and it's a plateful, then I think this year will be the bomb-diggity. And it may just be the "beginning of the year" optimism talking, but I feel like this is the year for me to become who I want to be.

It'll just take some discipline.

50 Books Challenge in 2009

2009-01-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

So, PJ Hoover has an absolutely awesome idea for 2009. Her goal is to read 50 books by the end of the year. Since I read 30 in 2008, and 26 in 2007, this will be a challenge for me -- but a good one. I need to read more instead of sitting around doing nothing. I watch probably way too many movies. Don't get me wrong, I love movies. At one time I had considered becoming a director and going to college for film and stuff because I loved to watch movies. Anyway, so this will give me the kick in the butt I need to read more.

Anyone who wants to participate in this little adventure is more than welcome to. She has rules for her posted on her site, but said that you can change them however you want to suite your situation. For the most part, they work for me, but I'll have to tweek them a smidge.

My rules
* Cannot count anything you've read before
* No picture books.
* Reading my own books doesn't count. Even if I read them 50 times during revisions. (I don't have an books per say, but I won't count any of the stories I write or revisions or anything)
* Reading critique partners manuscripts doesn't count.
* Mix it up. This was a great idea. I'm gonna try to add in some YA, and branch out beyond fantasy, which is what I've been focusing on. I'm gonna try to work in some Non-Fiction as well.
* When making my list, leave room for spontaneous reads, new releases that are "must reads", and anything I happen to pick up at the library during a given week.
* Record what I read on Goodreads. (I don't know what Goodreads is, so this is some what up in the air at the moment. However. I always keep a running account of books that I plan on reading, and books I've already read on my website here. It also contains what I've read for the past 3 years.) I don't normally talk about what I read, but if something really speaks to me, I'll try to pass the recommendation onto you through the trusty ol' SoaM here.

With that said, you may be wondering what I plan on reading. Well, I've got a few things bouncing around.

1. The Smoke Thief - Shana Abe (This is one that I started a while back and never got to finish because school kicked me in the teeth.
2. Homeland: The Legend of Drizzt Book 1 - R.A. Salvatore (My roommate got me this for Christmas)
3. The Golden Compass
4. The Subtle Knife
5. The Amber Spyglass - all by Phillip Pullman. Yes, the infamous His Dark Materials trilogy. One of my friends got it for me for Christmas last year, and I haven't had the chance to read it yet.
6. Blaze - "Richard Bachman"
7. The Inferno - Dante (trying to work in some classics)
8. The Rocketeer - Peter David (I've had this forever, and I liked the movie, so I decided I wanted to read the novelization.)
9. My Father - Nancy Sinatra
10. The Chamber - John Grisham
11. The Last Days of Krypton - Kevin J. Anderson (Because I'm a Superman nerd, and this intrigued me)
12. Te King of Torts - John Grisham
13. The Children of Hurin - J.R.R. Tolkien
14 & 15. When my money comes in from my refund check (and after I have budgeted out my money so I don't go crazy broke) I'll have to figure out a way to get my hands on The Emerald Table by P.J. Hoover, and I So Don't Do Mysteries by Barrie Summy, debut's for both of them, and I can't wait to read them and support them.

I think I'll leave it off there. I want a few surprises and too much planning will make reading seem like a chore.

Be Patient

2009-01-04T17:24:00.000-06:00

I'm trying out new templates and things. The template around here is getting kinda boring, and I'd like a change for the new year. So if the site seems to change every time you show up, don't mind it too much, while I search for a template I like.

Obligatory Resolutions Post

2009-01-03T15:02:00.001-06:00

What? An actual post?! Surely this is a sign of the apocalypse.

Did you all have a good New Year's party? I sure did. I volunteered at the local theater to help watch the kids. It was...an adventure. The downside was someone decided to give out the horns and buzzers 10 minutes early. I had my first horrible headache of the New Year!

Other than that, everything was fun. I was forced into getting on stage and singing a song on the Karaoke machine. I chose Fergalicious. What better song to usher in the new year, right?

Anyway, my resolutions:

1) Continue to work on getting healthier -- cutting out junk food, working out, running, drinking mostly water, etc.

2) Manage my money better. I was way to loose with it last semester, so my resolution is to budget it out better so that I don't blow through it with thoughts like "Oh...it's only $5..."

3) Try to get out more and meet more people. This is one that will be really hard, as I'm usually content just hanging in my room when there's nothing going on. The biggest problem will be that I don't know how to meet new people.

4) Try to write more. I have epically failed at writing this last year. I need to work on writing more -- I think I'm gonna try to set up a goal that I can keep at a sustained rate. What I'm thinking about right now is 2000 words a week, and a short story a month. The amount of words may go up or down, depending on how I do, but I will also have a ton of reading from my lit classes, writing from my Creative Writing class, and a play that we'll be doing come February. When that's over...I'm probably gonna want to take a break.

5) Work on doing my homework early rather than procrastinating. I have a problem with putting off my stuff until the last minute because I'd rather do other stuff -- like Facebook. My goal is to make REALLY good grades -- hopefully all A's, but I won't hold my breath, because I've got Physical Science.

So, for the new year, what are your resolutions? Any big goals you want accomplished?

Happy New Year! Welcome 2009!

2009-01-01T20:11:00.002-06:00

Congratulations

2008-12-31T01:55:00.001-06:00

Congratulations to my best friends sister. She's getting married today. So, that's where I'll be for most of today. I actually need to be hitting the hay, I just wanted to pop in and say, yes, I'm alive. The holiday season is always really busy for me, ha ha. I plan to post something for the new year, but in case I don't, I wish you all the very best in the new year.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays From SoaM

2008-12-25T15:35:00.004-06:00

Final Exams week!!!! Save me!!!!

2008-12-06T15:25:00.002-06:00

Well, I have news

2008-11-23T23:34:00.003-06:00

I knew back in high school and I started reading fantasy that I was teetering on a precipice. I could be just a normal guy that read fantasy, or I could be a nerd. I feared the nerd culture. I saw what they showed on TV -- the stuffy noses, the suspenders, the pocket protectors -- and I wanted to distance myself.

Despite my best efforts, the nerd culture enticed me. I noticed that everything they did was awesome. I began watching anime, another sign of becoming a nerd. I loved them all. I started pursuing the lesser known ones, to see if there were any hidden treasures. I knew I was starting to tumble down the edge and gain momentum, but I thought that I could stop at anytime. I didn't start wearing suspenders, but I started talking about video games, fantasy novels, anime, etc. I began smoozing with the leaders of the geek kingdom.

There was one boundry I refused to cross. It was for only the nerdiest of nerds. But eventually, I began to watch and realize it looked like fun. Well, I finally crumbled to the temptation Thursday. That's right...I played Dungeons and Dragons.

And I loved it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have arrived. I am a nerd. I am proud.

Short Posts Are Annoying

2008-11-09T14:19:00.003-06:00

I'm sorry for posting so many brief posts and such over the past several days. I've been extremely busy, and it doesn't look like things will be getting any better. I've been keeping careful track of my grades to make sure that I can keep my scholarship. Next semester is going to be a fun one though. If I can, I'm gonna try to take Fiction Workshop, and a class specializing on Edgar Allen Poe, both of which have me very excited.

Beyond that, I've also been working on my latest project. It's coming along pretty well, but every time I think I'm ready to write, I remember something that I need to have settled before hand. The plot is still very convoluted, and the idea is so complex I'm having trouble tackling them. I don't want to have the story too complex -- no one will understand what's going on, but I feel there's more the story than I originally thought. So, after a test scene, I think the story will work, but I need to work on it a bit more. On the plus side, I made quite a bit of progress on it, yesterday. Today is going to, at least partly, be devoted to catching up my homework. With the end of the year fast approaching, I'm feeling the noose tighten so I'm scrounging for every point I can whether I need it or not, ha ha.

On the other news front, I've been busy with more than just school work. I also got a part in my school's production of The Pirates of Penzance. I'm only a part of the chorus, but it's still fun. It's quite an adventure though, since I don't know how to read music. I'm having the others in my group teach me, or at least explain where I can follow along a bit better.

I've also been reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I know that he's taking over The Wheel of Time series, and I was curious of his writing style. I really like the book so far, it has a very interesting magic system, and I might start dropping hints for the second one to my family for Christmas.

And finally, movies. I'm a huge movie buff. When I treated myself yesterday with a trip to Hastings, I found a movie that made my jaw drop. It's called Sinatra -- it's about the life of Frank Sinatra. More importantly, Frank helped with the movie some. I've been talking about how I'd like to see a Frank Sinatra movie for while. Little did I know there was already one made. So, I might be spending part of this evening reveling in the story of The Voice. I also rented Speed Racer, just out of curiosity. Some of my friends told me it was good, some told me it was horrible. I'm easily pleased, so I suspect I'll enjoy it, even if I don't love it.

Anyway, that's all for now. For those of you participating in NaNo, how are things going? Some of my quitter friends have already dropped out. I teased them about it, but I can't say too much since I didn't participate at all. To those of you still in, good luck, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.

R.I.P. Michael Crichton

2008-11-07T20:35:00.003-06:00

1942 - 2008

You can find the news here.

Rest in peace, man.

"Who's Gonna Run This Bitch?"

2008-11-04T08:15:00.004-06:00

It's election day over here in the states. I rarely talk politics with people. The two things I never talk about: Politics and religion. Both fascinate me, but both also cause way too many hard feelings. So who I'm supporting is under lock and key. However, I encourage all of you in the states to go out and vote. We live in a nation where we get to choose who leads us. There may be problems with the system, there may be things we're unhappy about, but we still get to choose. So go make the choice.

NanoWeen!

2008-11-01T14:23:00.004-05:00

Happy Belated Halloween, and Happy Nano Day 1!

NaNoWriMo

2008-10-30T02:00:00.001-05:00

Just reminding everyone that NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. If you're still on the fence, you should give it a try. It's worth it. If you still don't know what it is, then you can find more info here: www.nanowrimo.org

Good luck everyone.

Holy Freakin' Crap!

2008-10-16T00:16:00.003-05:00

I just realized, as of October 7th, Scribblings of a Madman has been running for 2 years. That's way longer than I thought I'd be blogging! I'd like to thank everyone that visits here, and all you guys who send on words of encouragement and stuff*. It means a lot. I never thought I'd have people read this thing, and it constantly amazes me that people actually give a rip about my random ramblings. (Ah...aliteration.)

Anyway, so Happy 2nd Birthday, Scribblings of a Madman!

*I wouldn't like to thank the nay-sayers and haters. You know who you are! As a matter of fact, I anti-thank you. That's right, I did it. Billy, who picked on me in lunch, and that old lady on the bus who gave me weird looks, I'm talking to you! What about you, crazy old man who talks to the birds? You said that the Earthling people wouldn't allow my alien race to take over this planet, well, what now old man?! What now!?

October Ovation

2008-10-15T08:22:00.002-05:00

This is something that Barrie Summy talked about doing, and I signed on eagerly. We're supposed to write about someone we admire.

I thought a lot about who I admired. I mean, I admire a ton of different people for different reason. I admire Stephen King for struggling through his early years as a writer and not giving up to be where he is now, and also over coming a drug addiction and an alcohol problem in the mean time. I admire Holly Lisle for her pay it forward beliefs in sharing how and why she does certain things to help amateur writers become better at what they love to do. I admire Harriet Tubman for helping to free many slaves during the American Civil War, risking her life and freedom for the lives and freedoms of others.

There are a lot of people I admire. But, then I thought of someone who I've learned a lot about recently, and I'm fascinated by them.

While I would love to write, I also realize it will take many, many years -- more than likely -- for anything to develop in my writing career. They often call that the "10 Year overnight success." In the meantime, I'll be teaching high school kids about English and literature. I've had a lot of English teachers; some of them were great, some of them weren't so great. I've learned from things that I want to do in my class, and things that I hated that I need to remember to stay away from.

There is one teacher especially, who I admire and who I hope that I have the courage and ambition to stand up for what's right and do what she did. Her name is Erin Gruwell. You have heard of her. The movie Freedom Writers is about her experiences with a Woodrow Wilson High School class in 1994.

She had to work extremely hard to help her students overcome a plethora of problems. She dealt with racism, poor grades, illiteracy, gang violence, death, and so many other things. And through it all, sometimes at the sacrifice of her own happiness, she worked to make sure those kids had learned something before they left her class. While other teachers treated it as a job, she realized that she was responsible for these students lives and in turn spent a lot of her own time helping the kids with reading, but more importantly, helping them work through personal issues, whether they be gang problems, home problems, or race problems. She had the courage to look those kids in the eye and say "I'm gonna make you better whether you like it or not."

"You don't feel respected? Well, maybe you're not. But to get respect, you have to give it."

-- Erin Gruwell, in Freedom Writers

*sorry for this being posted late. I forgot to set this to auto-post.

End of the Week Writing Update

2008-10-10T16:00:00.002-05:00

Well, this is kind of an end of the week wrap up. You might not hear much from me on into Tuesday because midterms are here and baring their ugly teeth. I've got a World Literature test, an American literature test, and a Intro to Film test. Yuck. Shouldn't be too bad though. My Psych test was last week, so I least I don't have to worry about that.

So, yeah, writing. My friends and I are trying to start a writer's club where we meet and critique and stuff. The last one was kind of a bust. Since it was just basically us friends who hang out all the time, nobody took it too seriously, and some people only came to make my roommate feel better. One girl stopped caring halfway through the meeting and complained if anybody wanted to read anything longer than 3 pages...and then she read the longest poem I'd ever seen a student write. It was, like, 14 pages. Another girl there just didn't care and talked during the readings and just didn't take anything too seriously. Most of what was accomplished was...well...nothing. We still don't even know when to set the usual meetings. We're setting them for Tuesdays at 6:30, but that's just a tentative schedule, and we still don't know whether we want to meet every week or every other week. Meanwhile, my friend has been trying to gather up some people other than just us friends so the meetings will be more formal and structured. This thing will probably collapse, but I think it's cool of them to try.

As for actual writing, I've started a new story. I've decided that free form is just not the structure for me. I can't do "seat of your pants" writing, I go off on irrelevant tangents, and I catch myself with a whole lot of scenes where the main character is just doing mundane tasks. I realize that in scene something should change to make it significant, even if it's a small change, and with that in mind, I've been trying to make sure all of my scenes involve a change or action of some kind. I also laid out the basic ideas that I wanted, which I've done before, but I've been using a technique I got from Holly Lisle's plot course where I can fill in the blank spaces between key scenes with relevant scenes instead of fluff and filler. So it's been going pretty well.

Interestingly enough, when I finished mapping out the basic concept of the story, I realized that it's very similar to a story I tried to write before, but with a slightly different take on it. It's more organized, more streamlined, and hopefully it'll flow better because of that.

Also, for you writers who are a bit more disciplined than I am, NaNoWriMo is just around the corner. In case you don't know, that stands for National Novel Writing Month. If you don't live in the US, that's fine. National doesn't really mean anything. Anyone can participate, and if you think you're up to the challenge, you can go here to register. I want to participate in one someday, but I never have the time. And by never have the time I mean that I don't want to risk my scholarship and my schoolwork. I'm not very good at balancing my daily tasks -- it's one of the things I'm trying to work on -- and I'm hoping I can work towards participating in one in the near future. If you have anymore questions about NaNo you can look here, and I hope you guys have fun.

That's all I've got right now. Have a good weekend guys. I'm going to hit the books.

Failure

2008-10-09T19:46:00.006-05:00

I want to talk today about failure. It happens to all of us, and it sucks when it happens. Specifically, I'm talking about failing as a writer. I've gone through this feeling multiple times since I was in the first grade.

I've been writing short stories and the like since first grade. In the first grade, there was a series of books that was out about different animals. Usually the titles were alliteration like Bobby Bobcat, Sandy Skunk, Ricky Rabbit, etc. Those aren't actually the names of the books, but that was the gist of them. Anyway, I wrote some short stories for a contest where the winner would get his story published. It didn't win. That was my first failure. I tried and failed, however, being a kid, I quickly got over it. Kids have the amazing ability to bounce back from things like that. I continued to write, despite my rejection, but eventually, the bug seemed to die and I lost interest in writing.

In sixth grade, for some reason, the writing bug came back strong. I think we were doing something that had to do with creative writing in my reading class, and when she was explaining what a prompt was, she gave us an example of a kid finding a gigantic hole in the playground and investigating it. I was immediately seized with an idea, and I went home and started writing. The story actually turned into something way different from what I thought it would be, but I loved it. It was the first time I ever wrote a fantasy story. It was about some kid that was the decendent of a king and how he had to fight the evil wizard from back in the day in the modern world because he was up to no good. After that, I wrote constantly.

I didn't think about it at the time, but I never finished any of my other stories. I had some great ideas, and I would start them, but eventually I'd run out of steam and go on to something else. I did finish a few more stories, both of which were sequals to the first story I wrote in the sixth grade, but over the next several years, nothing else got finished.

By the time I got into high school, the writing bug had died again. Not for long. Eventually, I was talking to one of my friends who liked to write, and that got me started again. By then, I had discovered that writing was a career and I had chance to become one. A slim chance, but a chance nonetheless. So I started writing a "novel." I started with a map. I was just bored one day, and started doodling, and eventually, I had the idea for this great fantasy epic. This was just after I'd gotten into the Shannara books. That story, however, died. I wrote a lot -- probably 68 pages, which was a lot for me at the time -- but I just ran out of steam. Over the course of my high school career, I would restart on it every now and then, trying to rework it and make it better. Eventually the notes were long gone and I was just working on what I remembered, but I always fizzled before I really got started. Once again...fail.

Senior year, I got the idea to start fresh. If you guys have followed this blog far enough, you'll see where I planned stuff. I designed a really detailed culture, a pretty good religion that based itself off of Christianity, but also threw in some ideas from other religions that I had studied during World History. It was going to be even more epic. I had probably 40 pages of notes alone, with tons of notes on characters, notes on cultures, religions, customs, clothes, and a HUGE amount of back history that dated back probably 4000 years before the story took place. Eventually, I felt I was ready to start writing. However, same as with all the other times...EPIC FAIL. The story died a horrible writhing death. I tried desperately to save it, but there was no way to do it.

Of course after that, I began to wonder about myself as a writer. I mean, I kept losing interest, I kept quitting and moving on to something else, or leaving writing behind altogether to pursue other interests. Was I really cut out to be a writer if I was so undisciplined that I couldn't come home and write and stick with a story until it was finished?

With that in mind, I decided to start experimenting. I wrote one short story in the theme of stuff I used to do as a kid -- sort of dark, horror/thriller/paranormal stories. It came out okay. I posted that a while back. Then I wrote a murder mystery because I'd been reading a lot of them and wanted to give them a try. It came out okay, too. They were finished though, and that was a big victory for me. I decided to send them off to a magazine -- a first for me, and a huge step. They got rejected, though. ...FAIL. However, rereading them, I can obviously see why, now. Not my best work, in my opinion.

So, then I tried to write a science fiction short story. I decided it would run toward the long-ish spectrum of the short story section, and I wouldn't consider the story at all. I would write "by the seat of my pants", as some people say. Well, it fizzled and died, too.

What is my point from all this rambling? I seriously began to doubt myself as a writer. I mean, what kind of writer hasn't finished any but a handful of stories? What kind of writer starts huge projects and doesn't finish them? And more importantly, what kind of writer gives up writing, the thing that's supposed to bring them the most joy? Surely I just wasn't cut out to be a writer. I decided I didn't have talent, I needed to give up on my dream and settle on something else, something easier, that I wouldn't epically fail at all the time.

Well, I've learned something I didn't fully connect together until recently, but each one of those failures taught me a lesson about writing. My failed novel in high school? I had not planned anything at all about my story, just vague concepts of plot and characters. Because of that, I had a ton of random scenes that didn't further the plot at all. The second novel? I learned from the first time. I took a ton of notes for my worldbuilding, but still I had no real idea where anything was going. I basically had a setting. My short sci-fi story? Once again, with no idea where it was going, it fizzled and died.

So basically, I learned that I'm not a "seat of the pants" writer. I tried an "outline" for my first high school novel, but what I actually had was a list of what Holly Lisle calls "candy bar scenes." There were huge gaps where I had no idea what I wanted to do, and so I tended to ramble and pad my novel with filler scenes and fluff.

So what you could say I took away from this was that I learned that I need a general guidline to get me from start to finish, but I also learned, and I think this is the more important lesson, that just because I haven't finished many projects doesn't mean I'm not cut out to be a writer. I obviousy love writing, or I wouldn't keep coming back to it. From now on, whenever I fail to meet one of my writing goals, I'm going to step back and examine the failure from another perspective and see if I can't find the lesson in that "failure" and view them instead as "opportunities for growth."

So what about you? Have you learned from any failures?

Doing Something For Yourself

2008-10-07T21:37:00.003-05:00

You know, reading in college is sometimes a chore. I love to read, but there are just times where the thought of reading makes you want to bash your head against the wall until the voices go away. It's often mind numbing to sit through pages and pages and pages of uninteresting drivel, usually written by some dude with a Ph.D and no memory of what it was like to be in college with a life and other classes. And, with all due respect, you have to wonder where they dig up some of those essays and stories for anthologies. I mean, I understand that they're broadening our horizons, but can't they do that with something interesting, like Mark Twain or Mary Shelley or C.S. Lewis?

Since almost every night you're subjected to dissecting some stuffy expert's overly complicated explanations about such-n-such course, or you're sifting through the horribly flowery language of the early 15, 16, and 1700's. Let's face it, the people of that time period were experts at saying nothing. There were pages and pages and pages of pointless rambling in one of the stories I read earlier in the year -- usually information that had nothing to do with the actual point at all. I think at one point they were describing cobblestones in the road.

Well today, I had my homework done early and I decided to crack open one of the books that I had been reading but put on hold for college. It felt so nice. I was immediately sucked in, and before I knew it, two hours had passed and I was gonna be late for class. I felt like a new person. The sky seemed bluer, and the grass seemed greener. Every now and then, you just gotta read for yourself.

The same thing can be said for your writing. Holly Lisle helped me remember this with a recent update I read. When you're writing something, whether you enjoy it or not, it sometimes becomes more of a job than for pleasure. Even if you really enjoy what you're doing, it sometimes becomes too much of the same and you have to shake things up. It's alright to give in to that little story and peek into windows of places that you might visit soon. It's always nice to get a little taste of somewhere else to break up the monotony.

Sometimes you just gotta do something for yourself.

My Promised Explanation

2008-10-05T19:42:00.004-05:00

Hello everyone. Long time no hear, eh? Yeah...sorry about that.

So how have things been going for me? Well, after the play finished, I went and visited my roommate at his house for a week. It turned out to be a fun but troublesome trip because when I tried to leave, my windshield wipers quit working, and I had to have them re wired to work temporarily until I could get them more permanently fixed. The plus side is after, they were fixed, they worked like they were supposed to. I can now proudly say I have the ability to delay my wipers, and even have washer fluid sprayed with the flick of a switch if my windshield needs to be cleaned.

After that I was back at school, and that has been what has kept me the most busy. I've been reading more than 50 pages a night, and it's not easy reading either. At first it was Columbus's letters to the queen, which sounds like it would be an intriguing read, but was about as interesting as having rusty needles pushed underneath my fingernails. And that was the trend that they stayed for a while. They're getting a little (a very little) bit easier, and are becoming a little more interesting with each assignment, but they're also getting longer. I just had to read Gulliver's Travels in one sitting, and The Coquette in one sitting the next night. It's been pretty rough.

On the writing front, I've had absolutely no time for my own personal writing. I've been writing about a paper a week. They aren't always necessarily long, but each one requires consideration and thought. I'm not just gonna churn out garbage and hand it in, I pride myself on working really hard on my essays. Speaking of, I've got one to write tonight I think.

My two favorite classes are Film Class and Psychology, with World Lit following close behind. Psychology is just extremely interesting in everyway. I love learning the inner workings of the mind, and hearing lots of myths debunked in the process. And Film is just great. My teacher is a real smartass, and she loves to poke fun of uptight people. She also points out symbolism in films I've never seen it before. I mean, I don't always agree with her. I mean, I sat through her lecture last year on Alien, and I'm pretty sure when they made it, they weren't going for sex. Who cares if the alien's head is shaped like a penis? So are cucumbers, but that doesn't mean that making a salad is a sexual ennuendo. Anyway, so far we've watched Hitchcock's Rebecca, and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and this week we're watching Rear Window I believe, which I've seen before, but I love it all the same. I can't wait to see what she points out.

Speaking of writing, though, I've been trying to get back in the groove. It seems my writing always suffers from my rude re-introduction to school, so I'm trying to get back in the groove. However, it's harder than it seems. Balancing my life is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to work out more, eat healthier, read and write more, watch less TV, and make more friends. That's a lot to cram in, though, and writing has been one of the things that has fallen to the wayside. However, there's something that might shake it up a little, and that's a writing club. The first meeting is on Tuesday, and I'm gonna check it out. I know writing clubs face lots of problems -- it could just be an hour long pat on the back section, or you could be diving into a swimming pool full of sharks and pirhannas. We're gonna try to make it clear up front that the critiques should be thorough, but also not rude. Explain your complaints without insulting the writing, and possibly offer suggestions that you think will improve it. There's not much known about how things will work, but it sounds promising nonetheless...if it gets organized.

Beyond that nothing really interesting has happened. This weekend, we had family day. All the parents came to see their kids and there was a concert and a football game. I was glad to see the concert. It was 38 Special, who I've never heard of before, but I enjoyed their performance quite a bit, actually. Then we went to the ball game so my brother -- who's in band -- could see my school's band in action. He had a blast. Of course, our team got stomped, so we wound up leaving early. The last I saw it was 45 - 24, and there was only 1:30 on the clock.

So, how have things been with you guys lately?

Long Time No Speak

2008-10-02T23:22:00.000-05:00

I'll write a much longer post later with catch up news. I only have one thing to say right now. I just got back from seeing Wall-E for a second time. My college showed it as part of some special thing they do. You know a movie is really fantastic when an auditiorium of cynical, hard nosed, smart ass college students break out into applause at the end of the movie. That movie always leaves me with a smile on my face.

That's all for now. A real post later.

The Finish Line

2008-08-02T14:13:00.001-05:00

I finally made it to the finish line. It was fun, but tough, and I was sad and glad to see the play end. It ended on Sunday. The final three performances with the new cast was just as good as the weekend before, however, no performance ever goes smoothly.

On Sunday, my contact tore, and I had to do the play with one contact. It was awful, because the contact tearing hurt. I tried to wear it anyway, because I couldn't wear glasses in the play, and couldn't see without some kind of vision correction, but it didn't work. It hurt. So I threw it away and instead, I wore one contact and acted that way. I took it out as soon as the play was over, because I know doing that is horrible for your eyes, but it was only for a couple of hours.

The greatest thing about the play was that everytime I roared, or showed up at the very first of the play, little kids cried, but by the end, they loved me and were sad when I get "shot" with an arrow and "die." At the end of the show, they always wanted their picture taken with me. It was great.

This week we've been busy, and we're trying to scrape together some money for me to go visit my college roommate sometime next week. And then...it's back to school! Yes, college is right around the corner.

Anyway, that's my little update for now. How have things been for you guys?

Mid-Week, Mid-Performance Updates

2008-07-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hey, guess what? I've been swamped with play practice. I've been spending literally 8 hours a day working on that play.

Friday was our first performance. It was a totally awesome show. I got a ton of applause, and a lot of people were surprised that this was my first part in a play ever. I was very happy. Everyone did great, and so thrilled that we had a successful opening night. (Incidentally, everytime someone mentioned the words "opening night" I either sang that song from The Producers, or the song "It's bad luck to say good luck on opening night" -- I know...I'm a nerd.)

Saturday was another story, though. We met out back, which is theater tradition, to get eachother pumped for the show, and our supervisor told us to try to avoid the "Saturday Slump" -- which is where the cast gets comfortable after the first success and sucks it up totally the second night. So we were on our game, doing great, making sure to give it our all. But by scene 7, I saw the lights flicker and I knew something horrible was gonna happen. Then, we blew a fuse, and the lights went out. We had early intermission, but had to run on limited lighting after that. And then, to make things worse, we all got rattled from that first big disaster and started screwing up. And to make matters worse, Beauty's dress ripped and she had to wear a shawl to cover it up until we could get it fixed. After that horrible show, I went to go see The Dark Knight to make myself feel better (and it did, because it was awesome!).

Sunday made everything better. We made sure that everyone who came tonight got the best performance ever -- especially if they had come the night before. We blew them out of the water, and did excellent.

Now, however, I have to look forward to next weekend -- Beauty and the Beast...Cast 2! This weekend is with an entirely different set of girls, and it's going to be interesting. I think we'll do awesome though.

Anyway, just a quick update while I dive back into the play...again. I sure can't wait until it's done.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-20T03:10:00.001-05:00

This has taken it's place as my favorite movie of all time. If you have not seen this movie, go watch it. Even if you're not a fan of superhero movies, go watch this movie. It's plays almost like a normal crime drama. It's never over the top, it's never campy, it's never slow. The movie is fast paced, but never leaves you confused. It is Heath Ledger's best performance ever. Go watch this movie. If Heath Ledger doesn't win an Oscar for this movie, the entire awards assembly crew should have their heads examined.

Caturday Lolcats

2008-07-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

This is how I feel after performing. I thought it would amuse you guys. I'll let you know how the performances went on Monday.

Performance 16

2008-07-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

1. Furiously read through the script because even though you've run this play at least 200 times, you seem to have forgotten the order of the scenes.

2. Constantly check yourself to make sure your fly is zipped, your shirt is buttoned, your wig is on straight and you are in fact, wearing your pants.

3. Avoid water 7 hours before your performance in fear that you will need to pee in the middle of the performance.

3 a) Despite your efforts, you have to pee anyway, and for some reason this is the time you decide to contemplate how Noah avoided sea sickness on the ark.

4. Scratch your legs until you bleed trying to keep from itching that spot in the middle of your face and screw up your make up.

5. Develop the habit of blinking frequently and rapidly because you're brand new contacts have chosen this moment to screw up and glaze over.

6. Frantically quadruple check that all the props are in their proper places, reorganize them, forget your "improved" organization order, and panic when you can't find one prop.

7. Sit in a corner, crying, and asking yourself why you chose to be in a stupid local play in the first place, you don't like talking in front of people anyway.

8. Write out Post-Its with custom deadly threat and place each one in the seats your friends will sit in. Make sure they understand, if they laugh at you, they will suffer.

9. Tear down every flyer in the town and throw a bucket of paint over the giant sign advertising the play and hope nobody will show up because they don't know what time the play starts.

10. Fake a sign saying the play is canceled.

11. Dress in dark clothes and a white mask and, through the power of song and special effects, scare the audience away and close the show early.

12. Practice loosening your lips for 2 constant hours before the performance in fear of messing up a line during the play.

12 a) Work your lips too much and suffer a rare but painful face cramp in which your face locks down and you cannot move your lips to say your lines, and just so happen to look like you're sneezing through your nose as well.

13. Badger your fellow actors back stage every 5 minutes to ask if your make up still looks fine.

14. When someone mentions breaking a leg, stand and curse loudly for 10 minutes, accusing the director and the rest of the cast of trying to jinx you before your first big performance.

14 a) Insist a witch-doctor be brought in to rid the area of its "bad joo joo."

15. Write a blog post about your fears that will help you loosen up and then try to relax before your performance.

16. Call up the local government officials about being entered into the witness protection program to escape your humiliation if the performance goes bad anyway...just in cast.

Sherlock Holmes

2008-07-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

I love mysteries. When I was younger, I was obsessed with the Encyclopedia Brown books. The thought that a kid could be so smart, and he could help his friends, and even the police sometimes -- I thought it was awesome. Also, the EB books made you turn to the next page for the solution, so it gave you a chance to solve it yourself. I loved that, too.

When I got older, I read the Hardy Boys, and when I got older still, I read the Hardy Boys Casefiles, which was Hardy Boys for adults, with Frank and Joe, but they were grown.

When I got into middle school, I started reading the Sherlock Holmes books, and my love of mysteries grew to a whole new level. I had never encountered a character like Sherlock before. He was maladjusted, you didn't always like him, and he was rarely nice. Being so smart left him being somewhat of a social outcast, and his only friends was Dr. Watson, the only person who was patient enough to put up with his moodiness.

I started watching Sherlock Holmes movies -- a few of the ones with Basil Rathbone, the movie Young Sherlock Holmes, The Great Mouse Detective, the show Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century, anything really. I was intrigued by the surely detective. I wasn't always happy with the TV and movie adaptions of Sherlock though -- many adaptions had reduced a lot of his character flaws down, thereby making him a friendly, happy, well-liked, but extremely smart guy. That's just not Holmes. A few good recommendations that were pretty good but weren't by Conan himself would be The Baker Street Irregulars, and the movie Young Sherlock Holmes.

Then, I saw the TV show House. I had avoided it, because I don't normally watch much TV -- a lot of them seem to be the same crime investigation shows with a different cast -- but after a few episodes I knew where'd I'd scene Dr. Gregory House before. He was Sherlock Holmes!! He walked with a cane, he had one really good friend who was patient enough to put up with his characer flaws, he was addicted to drugs, he was maladjusted and cynical, and he was extremely smart and solved cases most people were stumped by.

Now it seems they're gonna try to bring back Sherlock Holmes to the modern public. I saw on Yahoo news, where there's two new Sherlock Holmes movies in the works. One of them is a Columbia pictures comedy that is supposed to star Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrel that I'm hoping will be as good as The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, and not totally stupid. The other one fills me with hope, though. It's a Warner Bros. film, and when I saw who they got to play Sherlock, I thought, Wow, if they couldn't get Hugh Laurie, that guy could definitely do the part justice. They got Robert Downey, Jr. His smart alleck, cynical personality is perfect for the crabby detective, and with what I've heard about Iron Man, this movie will be fantastic, and hopefully be a box office smash.

I'm daring to get my hopes up. Don't let me down Hollywood!

Muses and Inspiration Revisited

2008-07-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

Remember my post about the muse? Well, Maureen Johnson had a post on the fifth that answers my question in a very interesting way, and I didn't even ask her. You can find it here. Go check it out. It's a good post.

Lolcat "Caturdays"*

2008-07-12T00:00:00.001-05:00

*Name credit goes to Beth. If you visit here on Saturdays, you'll remember that I'm starting a new tradition: Lolcats for a good weekend laugh. Below is this weeks.

Also, Burn Notice is back. Yaaaay!!!

Magnificent Memorable Movies Meme

2008-07-11T00:00:00.001-05:00

I got this from Heather's Blethers, and from S.M.D's blog, The World in the Satin Bag, so I figured...why not? I haven't done a meme in a while.

This is Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Classic Movies of the past 25 years. Anyone who wants to play, consider yourself tagged! The rules: Bold the movies you've seen, underline or *asterisk* the ones you plan to, ~~strike out~~ the ones you HATE and refuse to watch ever again.

... P.S... for those of you who, like me, didn't know how to strike out something, here's how: <> strike out < / s >

That might save you a Google search.

Here's the list:

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. Goodfellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire(1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1987)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
~~42. Clueless (1995)~~
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
~~99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)~~
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Huh, I did better than I thought I would. But still, I feel like I let myself down. There's some movies on there I really should see, since they're classics. And I really have to question who made this list. South Park? The Blair Witch Project? I hated the Blair Witch Project, and while I can't say I hated South Park...one of the top 100 movies of the past 25 years? Really? Couldn't that spot have gone to something better...anything better?

Parallel Universes

2008-07-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

One story idea that has always been a favorite of mine is parallel universes. Stories where the heroes travel to worlds are mirrors of eachother. I love to read stories where the worlds may resemble something close to what we know with minor differences, and stories where the alternate world has been wrecked because of some catastrophic event where Johnny McBoogernose was elected mayor in Hicksville, USA instead of Timmy Straightentrue.

When I was a freshmen in highschool, I discovered Stephen King's series The Dark Tower, and they remain some of my favorite books. I love how they explore alternate worlds and alternate time lines and the idea that the universe is like an onion in reverse -- there are layers of worlds stacked on layers of worlds and each one may only differ slighly, while some may be enormously different.

Well, oh denizens of the SoaM universe, I have invented a machine that will let you explore alternate dimensions. The diagram of my invention can be seen below, although it may be too technical for most of you unscientifical folk. Just trust me that I spent many hours perfecting this design.You may question the morality of this. "Jason," you may protest, "couldn't even glancing briefly at another world throw ours into chaos, much like messing with the time stream." "What is this, freakin' twenty questions?" I would reply with anger. Seriously, why in the world would you be questioning me anyway, I just invented a freakin' transdimensional portal generator. When my findings are reported to the International Scientists Organization and Recreational Center -- or I-Soars -- I'll be able to buy and sell you guys like goldfish anyway....

...anyway, until the boys in white coats recognize my excellence, I will offer free rides to anyone who wants to visit a few alternate dimensions. Remember, these things may frighten you, but just remember that this is only a demonstration and a real ride will cost you your first born child -- so, basically, cheaper than a full tank of gas.

Without further ado, SoaM of the Other Worlds: SoaM Beta, SoaM Gamma, SoaM Delta, SoaM Epsilon -- (this world calls their site "The" Scribblings of a Madman. Everyone knows that my scribblings are "THE" scribblings, all others are imitators. I'm SoaM Alpha.)

I hope you all enjoyed your trip. Please watch your step and thank you for travelling.

Books and TV

2008-07-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

I don't really have much to talk about today, but I do have some news that was pretty cool. My town is not a town that is known for its readers. The only bookstores we have are a used bookstore, and our Wal-Mart, and slowly but surely, our Wal-Mart has been reducing the book section down to Junie B. Jones, other kids books of that nature, and self help books. But it looks like our Wal-Mart is starting to exand their stock a little more. The other day, I am happy to report, I saw Twilight Fall in the flesh...er...page...along with the book that Lynn Viehl advertised a few days ago -- Death Angel. My only let down was that I couldn't find The Iron Hunt by Marjorie M. Liu. I frantically checked my money supply. I was going to buy them and have SoaM's first book give away, but sadly, I was broke. So, in a few months, I may have a book give away, if by then everyone doesn't already have those books, ha. We'll see, though -- money is looking tighter this semester.

And in other news, I saw the last episode of Death Note the other day -- God bless you, my lovely DVR -- and I have only this to say: HOLY COW!!! AMAZING!!!

That's really all. I'll try to have something cool to post later this week. I'm stewing ideas.

Inspiration

2008-07-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about this post for a while. It's something that I would like to talk about. At first I thought it was only me, but I've talked to several people and they all have this problem.

Inspiration, aka the muse. She's a fickle friend, and one that often leaves you. It's the fire that drives you to write, the passion that makes you love what you do and want to see the thing to the end. Every writer and wanna-be writer knows what I'm talking about. You get that idea and your pulse quickens and you feel your adrenaline surge and you just can't wait to get started.

But, what I've seen happen a lot is the inspiration goes away. Sometimes early on. For those who feel dedication and love and such, sometimes halfway through the book, but eventually it seems that writing becomes a chore...and everybody hates chores so why would you want to write? Let's go watch some Smallville and give the muse a rest. We'll write tomorrow.

Tomorrow you say, geez, man. I still don't want to write. Oh well, I'll go read this book I've been wanting to read and go wash some dishes and tomorrow I'll do a big writing day to make up for what I missed today.

And the next day you don't.

And the next day you don't...

...and eventually you stop writing entirely. That's happened to me more times than I can count. I have a whole ton of stories that I started, but never got around to finishing, some of them I didn't know what I wanted to do with them, some them I knew exactly, but all of them eventually became no fun to write.

I thought it was just me, but one of my college friends was talking to me the other day -- she's a creative writing major -- and she said that she gets like that too.

That's why I've been writing so many random genre stories lately: A Lover Scorned was a kinda noir-ish murder mystery, Silence and Darkness was a horror-ish story, and Detective Sheen is sci-fi, which I've never written before. I've been trying variety to give the muse other flavors and make her want to work, but I still lose interest.

So this is kind of a discussion question for those of you who want to participate, how do you finish things? How do you keep interested long enough to finish the whole project, whether it be a short story or a novel?

Saturday Lolcats

2008-07-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've decided to add a new feature. The weekends around the blogosphere are somewhat dull. Everyone is spending time with their families, and that leaves the few survivors that are hanging around nothing to read. So for your pure entertainment, I'm going to post on Saturdays. I'm thinking Lolcat Saturdays? They're funny, and they leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Get it? 'Cause they're cats? Ha ha? ...anyway... >.>;

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

To all of you with me in the US, Happy Independence Day! My family and I are having a barbeque and I'll be using some of those awesome recipes I found from the Recipe Round-up. No matter what you're doing, though, I hope you're with people you love.

Pet Scare and Relief

2008-07-03T09:00:00.003-05:00

We had a scare recently here at la casa de la Rayburn. Our poor mini-dachshund Jimi Hendrix got sick. (While he bears no actual resemblance to the rocker of the same name I can hug my Jimi Hendrix and roll him around on the floor and play with him. I couldn't have done that with the other one without causing some risque gossip...although my Jimi can't play the guitar as well as the other Jimi either.)

Anyway, we came home a few days ago and poor Jimi was laying on the floor shaking and whining. I was instantly worried, because I was instantly reminded of when my chihuahua Sugar got sick when I was 10. She had cancer and died, and before she died she laid around and shook and yelped.

Luckily, my mom, God bless her, has a clearer head than mine. She immediately knew what it was. She took him into the kitchen and gave Jimi some mineral oil and some medicine and said, "He's constipated. It sometimes happens to dachshunds. Don't worry. He'll be fine." I wasn't so sure.

My heart sank when, the next day, he still laid there yelping and whining. I was getting panicky, but my mom just gave him more medicine and said that he would be fine. Next day, he was perfectly fine. He's been bouncing around for the past couple days as happy as he can be. I'm so glad that he feels better.

Below is a picture of both Jimis. Try to guess which one is mine, :D

Chocolate Drop Cookies

2008-07-02T09:00:00.002-05:00

I'm posting this because Barrie Summy is having a cool little Recipe Round-Up for July 4th -- Independence Day here in the US. Check out her blog for other awesome recipes as well. This should be a ton of fun.

This is my mom's fantastic recipe for her "No Bake Drop Cookies." They are so fantastic and rich and yummy...yeah. Enjoy!

2 cups sugar

2 1/2 tbsp. cocoa

1 stick of butter

1/2 cup milk

2 1/2 cups oatmeal (not cooked)

1 tsp vanilla

Bring 1st four ingredients to a rolling boil.
count 90 seconds SLOWLY
take mixture off fire
Add vanilla, stir
add oatmeal, stir really well
drop teaspoonfuls on buttered or waxed paper
cool for 30 mins.

Book Plugging

2008-07-01T15:13:00.003-05:00

I just realized how out of the loop I was today. I went and visited PBW's blog, and her post reminded me of several books I've been looking forward to reading. So today, to make up for that, I'm just gonna give you guys a little bump and some info about some books that have come out that you should check out.

First on the list is the one that reminded me of the others. Lynn Viehl has a new Darkyn book out -- Twilight Fall. It just came out today. This is the 6th novel of the Darkyn series chronicling the tribe of vampires. The last two Darkyn books released -- Evermore and Night Lost -- appeared at the 12 spot on the New York Times Bestseller list. Lynn has announced that there will only be one more book in the series, and then it will be finished. From what I hear, these books keep getting better and better. If you're into dark fantasy/romance, go check these books out.

Next on the list is a new release by Holly Lisle -- The Ruby Key. This was released on May 1st, and it's the first in her new YA series Moon and Sun. I've been looking forward to this release for a long time. Snippets from her blog have made me foam at the mouth in anticipation, and as soon as I can get my hands on some money (which, sadly, may be a few months) I will buy this and revel in its awesomeness. Definitely pick this one up.

Third on the list is yet another release by Holly Lisle -- Hawkspar. This is the anticipated sequal to the amazing Talyn, and it is #2 in what will hopefully become a series following in the world of Korre. If you remember the splash that Talyn made, you know you can't miss out on this one. Another one that I will pick up as soon as I can, since I devoured Talyn.

And finally, Odd Thomas is back in his quircky, beautifully tragic adventures in two released -- Odd Hours and In Odd We Trust. If you haven't started reading the Odd Thomas series yet, I recommend that you go out and get them now. They are spectacular. Odd has such a sad/hilarious view on the world: to see the tragedy and the comedy in most situations. And he's up to his usual wise-cracking. For a while, the story seems unlike the other Odd books, but by the middle, Dean Koontz cracks open and you see the quick, hilarious, odd ball (ha ha) conversations that you expect from Odd. In Odd We Trust is trying something new. This one is a prequal to the amazing Odd Thomas, but that's not all it does differently. This book is done in a graphic novel manga style, which I can say only makes me want to read it more.

Sorry that the post isn't anything special, but I'm kinda out of it today, and I've got a lot to do to get prepared for the play. I hope you enjoy these recommendations and remember that none of the author's tell me to do this. This is on my own and because I like spreading the word of fellow writers. I remember some contraversy about that a while back and I just want to remind everyone.

Wondrous Wall-E

2008-06-30T12:41:00.006-05:00

I got to go see Wall-E yesterday. Fantastic movie. I really had my doubts about it, because none of the commericals really told me anything and I figured it would be very boring. Far from it, it was funny, sweet, heartwarming, and inspiring. I was amazed at the amount of emotion that came across with very little voice acting.

One of my friends had a small complaint that Disney seemed to be making a statement about our society and our environment. I did notice it, but since I can't say that I disagreed with what I noticed, I can't say I was offended. In fact, it's not all that new. We've used the same basic idea of "humans screw up Earth and go live in space" in movies and stories for a long, long time.

One of my friends thought that kids wouldn't enjoy it because there was hardly any talking, but I can say that there were probably 30 kids in the audience last night and all of them were laughing up a storm.

It was a great movie, and supposedly the last of the original ideas that the guys that started the Pixar movies came up with. If you've got kids, it's definitely a movie to take them to see.

...and if by the end of the movie, you want to see the movie that Wall-E watches throughout the movie and you haven't seen it, I suggest picking up Hello Dolly, as well. Great old musical starring Barbera Streisand and Walter Matthou.

________________

In other news, I have my other short story is up at Scribd. It's called Silence and Darkness. The same blah as before, if you read it, and happened to be moved to do so, any feedback would be nice. Most of all, though, enjoy it.

I'd Like to See More

2008-06-27T23:16:00.000-05:00

A little known fact about me, I really like musicals. It's something that I've loved ever since I was a kid. Disney had some of the greatest: Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jungle Book. But it wasn't just animated movies, I loved Mary Poppins, The King and I, and on of my all time favorites to this day is Guys and Dolls, starring Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando. To me musicals were like listening to a cd with a story attached. Eventually though, they faded out. I mean, even Disney has stopped putting out musicals in favor of 3D team ups with Pixar. (I could go into how I miss the 2D cartoons Disney used to put out, but that's a rant for another post.)

It's been many a year since Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music and Grease, and it seemed musicals were a sort of dead art form. However, they seem to be trickling back into society, much to my joy. With the success of modern musicals like Chicago, Rent, Hairspray, The Phantom of the Opera, the ever amazing Sweeney Todd, and the awesomely hilarious but under appreciated The Producers, it seems Hollywood is trying to bring musicals back.

I hope that the trend continues. Mama Mia! is supposed to be a musical, and I don't know much about it, but I'm tempted to go see it. I'm hoping they'll eventually cave in and make a movie version of Wicked for us poor broke buggers who can't make it to New York to see it on Broadway.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a little something about me that I don't usually like to admit. You'd be surprised how many weird looks you get for admitting to something like this.

What do you guys think? Do you like musicals? Got a favorite musical? Do you think that musicals should be brought back or left to be admired as a once glorious but now dead artform? Let us know in the comments.

P.S. In other news, I uploaded one of my stories to Scrib'd. A Lover Scorned. If you're reading it and feel the need to share something you liked, hated, felt I could improve on, or anything else, I'd appreciate it, but most of all I hope you enjoy it. This is the link to my page with both my new story and my 1st e-book on there.

Long time.

2008-06-21T23:39:00.001-05:00

Hey, long time eh? I've been busy and will probably still be busy. I can't guarantee regular posts or anything, ha ha. But I wanted to give you guys some news. I got another couple of rejection letters. It's not big. But I think that's just about all of them, so I'll probably get them both on Scrib'd very soon. I'm totally not against some constructive criticism if you feel the need to spread the knowledge.

Anyway, in other news, I've been going to rehearsals. The local theater is putting Beauty and the Beast and I'm the Beast. It's been tons of fun. I've never acted in a play before, but I absolutely love acting. It's so much fun to do. If it weren't all but impossible to get into the biz I'd move to California right now and start.

Anyway, I'll try to post those stories soon, hope you guys still check here every once in a while, ha.

P.S. How have things been? Let me know in the comments, it'd be great to hear from you guys.

This post is rated R for Rejection.

2008-04-25T23:56:00.003-05:00

Hey, still up to my neck in "end of the year" garbage. But, I thought I'd give you guys a little news, I got more word from two more magazines. I got word from Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine about my murder/mystery story. A very polite rejection letter. I also got word from The New Yorker (yeah, it was a long shot, but I thought it was worth a try), and that was another shorter but still polite rejection letter. Oh well. If they don't get accepted, I'll post them on Scrib'd and you guys can read them there. If I do that, and if you do read them, and if you decide to give me some constructive criticism, that's awesome.

Anyway, Im exhausted. I'm gonna crash. Hope you guys are doing okay. I can't wait until life slows down a little. Then I can post an actual post. Anyway, good night all.

Quick Check In

2008-04-23T17:03:00.002-05:00

Hey, just wanted to let you guys know that I'm alive. I've been swamped with end of the year essays, projects, and finals are coming up. Thank you all very much for your suggestions, you helped me a lot. I definitely have a good idea. Gotta go, I'm still very busy.

Lesson To Learn

2008-04-07T13:52:00.002-05:00

In my teaching class, have to come up with a 20 minute lesson to teach on. For the life of me, I can't think of anything to come up with.

The first lesson I had to do was a 7 minute lecture. I chose "How to Write a Novel," and I covered the basics of brainstorming, outlining, and revising. Writing is my love, so I'd love to do another lecture on that, but I don't know what to do it on. If you guys have the team, please leave me some ideas in the comments. I'd really appreciate it. My lecture is on the 28th.

Thanks for any help you guys have.

Best. Birthday. Present. EVER.

2008-04-03T21:31:00.003-05:00

We got in the mail today. Best birthday present ever.

(P.S. Updated profile and pic.)

The Bates Motel

2008-04-02T14:04:00.000-05:00

Gather round ye lads and lasses and I'll spin you a tale of misery and woe. For on this trip that was such a dreary occasion, the Rayburn family was expecting to have some fun. Unfortuantely, it was not in the cards. The family set out, soon to find that the tv that was expected to work in the van, did not. The movies brought along were useless, as were the video games, and time began to slow. Music can only occupy for so long, and with only one device to listen on, the children were soon sqwabbling over who would get it next, and for how long. Ye it was a long drive, and one taken with few bathroom breaks, as the highway department had apparently been studying our heroes trip, and new to remove all bathrooms, or directions to them.

After much whining and biting of heads, our troop did stop at a quant little inn. Ignoring the ominous skulls and spears and vultures skulking about the premises they went ahead and booked rooms for the whole week. Oh woe, for little they could guess the terror that awaited them. The young manager introduced himself as Norman, a kindly young man, if a bit on the odd side. It seemed odd that he sold weaponry as well as cars and rooms to stay in -- almost as if he were providing one with all they would need for a dastardly night on the town.

Once in the room, the fabulous family was greeted with a shocking sight, one that left them depressed and downtrodden. The walls were dirty, the lights were non-working or dim, the room did swelter, the bathroom was effing freezing, but bearing a forced grin the fam did drop bags and prepare for nighttime. The oldest boy Rayburn, Jason his name was, did learn another horrible truth. Apparently, back problems are a favorite for the fates to play games with, and Jason learned that his back would sing a glorious ode to pain, as the mattresses were built like square bowls, everything sloping toward the middle.

Ye while the beds were unfortunate enough for our heroes, the fates had more in store. For what did Jason find when he rose in the night for a Tums, why bugs invading the room. Much worse than the run-of-the-mill-bug, these bugs were decended from the Huns. They raced in carrying spears and daggers, swords flashing and knashing their teeth. Many a one had a moustache that reached to the floor, which they enjoyed to twirl while they sneered at our tasty looking family of the world. Having slept almost none and already awake, Jason's mother rose to help him find the antacid since he didn't pack the medicine and had no flipping clue where anything that he needed was, but ye, she was ready for the surprise onslaught. Armed with a can of bugspray and a swatter of flies, she beat the demons back to their hole, where they would tend their wounds and plot revenge.

Once Jason had returned to his bed, he learned sleep would dance out of his grasp for the remainder of the night, for lo, did the bathroom grumble and hiss. It seemed the toilet never stopped flowing, and the mystery hidden in the walls threw a festival next to his ear. But surely, if that was enough, more still came to plague him. For while he tried to block out the noises of the room, he heard worse noises still. People in the next room did socialize, with their video boxes blaring loud and true, defiant of what decent people have dubbed "quiet time." What's more, they had kids, who delighted in stomping and screaming and yelling. When the neighbors weren't creating it, the traffic outside would unload noise at the most inopportune times. A fleet of diesels and an armada of motorcycles traveled the road that night, and Jason was awake to count every one.

By dawn the next morn, our heroes were ready to flee from the Bates Motel. They rallied each other from their uncomfortable sleep, and packing their bags in a manic frenzy, canceled the rest of the stay and ran for the hills, to a shining home-away-from-home on a hill, a blessed promise land known as Helluvalotbetter, where they would reside for the remainder of the trip.

Next time, lads and lasses, I shall spin ye more webs of the Rayburn woes, including the Tale of the Stingy Shed Ogre, and the Incredible Shifting Town of Nowhere.

Happy Birthday Me!

2008-04-01T16:31:00.002-05:00

Back

2008-03-30T10:15:00.002-05:00

I'll post a real post soon, I just wanted to let you know that I'm back, and kinda strung out. I'm going to take the day to relax and rest, because tomorrow it's back to school!!! (*barf*) and I've got to be ready for that. I'm worried about my tests, it stormed all night, so I couldn't sleep . . . *sigh*. Mantra to repeat: Reeelaaaax.