BWAHAHAHA!

Wind blew across the desert wasteland tracing patterns in the sand. Ressto drew his sword, a lone figure in the ocean of sand and sneered at the scaley monster before him. He pointed his sword threatingly at the monster.

"Give Falovri back!"

The monster chuckled in his gravely voice and lifted Falovri's unconcious body into the air.

"How about if I just snap her scrawny neck right here?"

Ressto gasped. "No! Falovri!"

He raced forward, his sword clutched in his white knuckled hands. Halfway to the beast, though, he slid to a stop, his animal skin boots leaving a smooth trail in the dust. He stuck his sword into the ground and leaned on it like a cane, smiled his crooked smile, and turned his back to the monster, who's gruesome claws still clutched Falovri.

"You know what? I don't feel like it."

"What?" the monster and Falovri said in unison.

"I don't feel like it."

"Cut, cut, cut! What is this!"

From above them, the clouds parted and a musty green carpet rolled down, crimping as it did like it was unrolling on invisible stairs. As it unrolled, a medium height blonde man in crooked glasses and a blue checkered bath robe rushed down the stairs, taking two at a time. To add to the man's odd appearance we wore a blue sleeping cap, the kind shaped like Santa's hat, and pink bunny slippers, whose heads seemed nod in agreement with his furious shouting and swearing.

"Jason!" the monster said.

Falovri opened her eyes and looked down at the estranged man. "Jason? What are you doing here? We're trying to do a scene."

"You!" Jason said with venom in his voice. He pointed a shaking finger at Ressto and stomped up to him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to be saving Falovri!"

Ressto laughed and stuck his tongue out.

"I didn't feel like it."

"Didn't feel like it! Who said you had a choice? Get in there and do the damn scene!"

Ressto laughed and stuck his tongue out. "Nanny nanny, boo boo!"

Jason growled in frustration.

"Why do you always do this to me? When I started planning the novel, you didn't cooperate, when I wrote your first scene, you didn't cooperate. Why won't you cooperate? I gave you a job, didn't I? Remember? You could be selling vacuums door to door like you were."

"I had more fun selling vacuums."

"What!"

Ressto sighed and leaned against his sword. "You've stuck me in all kinds of danger. You want me to risk my neck exposing a conspiracy, help out a delinquent girl that I don't know from Adam, and fight to the death with a monster? You don't even know if I'll live!"

Jason sighed. "I told you, I have to work on that."

"What's in it for me?"

"Just do the damn scene!"

"I don't see why I should." To prove his point he flopped down on his butt in the middle of the desert.

"You're acting like a child!"

"You wrote me this way."

"I'll make you!"

Ressto let out a dry laugh and jumped to his feet. Uprooting his sword from the ground he spun it in a fancy display before crouching and motioning Jason forward.

"Bring it on."

Jason snarled and reached inside his robe. He pulled out a small black gel ink pen, pulled off the lid and rushed forward. Ressto stared for a second, stunned, but regained his composure. The two weapons met, pen and sword. Sparks flew and Ressto let out a gasp as the pen was still whole.

"Ha! The pen is mightier than the sword!"

Ressto clenched his teeth and swung again, but the pen was there to block his blow again. Jason reached inside his robe and pulled out another pen, jabbed it forward, and sent Ressto flying several feet away.

"There!" Jason said putting one of the pens back and pulling out a small writing tablet. "I tried to be nice, but you wouldn't cooperate. Try this!"

He began to write.

"What are you doing?"

Jason laughed and wrote some more. He read outloud as he wrote:

'Ressto, dressed in the finest of ladies fall fashion, stood in the desert before the monster.'

Ressto gasped as his Revolutionary uniform was transformed into a frilly pink dress.

"Stop it!"

Jason laughed and continued to read, " 'Hopping on his white mare, Petunia, Ressto rode off to model his sexy underwear and dance for his friends at the pub.' "

Ressto cried out as a white mare appeared before him and he began to walk towards it.

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"Will you do the scene?"

Ressto continued to struggle, trying, to no avail, to turn from the horse.

"Will you do the scene!?"

Reluctantly, Ressto shouted, "Yes! Yes, I'll do the scene, just don't let my friends see me in this."
Jason laughedin triumph and tore the page out of the tablet, crumpling up and stuffing it in his pocket. He nodded curtly and began to head back for the musty carpet.

"Hey, you're gonna throw that away when you get back, right? Right?"

Jason laughed as he climbed the stairs, into the clouds, rolled up the carpet, and disappeared.